Last weekend, I had the opportunity to go to a bachata festival in Tallahassee, Florida. I had never danced the bachata, but I had heard my mom and this friend talk about it several times and was excited to see what it entailed.
In one word, bachata is very intimate.
If you want to see what I mean, check out this video.
In this dance, you’re very close to your partner, sometimes even with your torsos pressed together. The dance entails moves like body rolls, dips and impromptu dance moves when you are pressed together. Luckily, it’s like all other ballroom dances, where if you have a good lead, you can fake just about anything.
Despite the extremely intimate nature of the dance, it’s just a dance. The intimacy lasts the length of the song. At most you’ll give your partner a hug and a peck on the cheek and move on to another partner or maybe just the sidelines. There are no expectations for anything afterwards, even if you dance with the same man more than once, and there isn’t any jealousy if you in came with a boyfriend or girlfriend and you see them dancing with someone else.
The latin dancing community is extremely respectful of their women, making sure that they are comfortable. Throughout the entire weekend, I heard warnings from instructors about what was okay and what wasn't on the dance floor. Where the line between leading and man-handling, dancing and grinding was drawn. There were personal barriers that should never be crossed.
For instance, the bachata calls for the lead's hand to be placed in the middle of the fellow's back rather than the traditional shoulder blade placement. Several instructors warned against letting that hand drop too low, making your lady uncomfortable and also losing your strong lead.
When trying to execute a body roll, there’s a certain hand motion from the lead. When showing this, a woman instructor spoke up that if you did not feel comfortable doing a body roll, then don't do it. Simply put your hand on the outer shoulder and slightly push them away as an indicator. If you did want to, however, one instructor said that the two partners should never be pelvis to pelvis. Save that for another room. Instead they should be slightly shifted to the left of each other, so they’re hip to hip.
When leads are judging how close two partners should dance, instructors were adamant that closeness was entirely based on the followers comfort level. It was up to the leads to be mindful, and if they couldn't tell, then they should leave the dance floor.
Most importantly, a follow can walk away from any dance at any time. There’s no law saying that you have to endure the entire song if you feel pressured, uncomfortable or simply like you’re in trouble. Friends—and most likely other dancers—will back you up if the lead tries to make a scene (which they almost never do).
This weekend pushed my boundaries a little, but not in a way that caused me to feel in any way uneasy. If you ever decide to venture and try latin dancing, be assured that while there may be a few creeps—there always are—there will also be men present who know how to properly treat a lady.
