If you have ever dealt with social anxiety, which I'm sure most people have, then you know what a pain in the ass it is. Especially as a freshman in college. You've just graduated high school and are moving on to a completely different environment. You will be able to interact with a whole new community of people and will not have the familiar comfort of being surrounded by peers with whom you have grown up with. Whether it's in class or in your dorm, you'll have to try to start conversations with people whom you know nothing about. So how the hell do you do that?
That was the question I asked myself almost everyday leading up to graduation. Of course, I was anxious about harder courses, but growing in a small town where everyone knew each other I was used to seeing at least one familiar face everyday. I have dealt with anxiety just about everyday of my life since elementary school. I would cry everyday before going to school in second grade because I wanted so badly to stay home in the comfortability of my family's company. Of course, new experiences are usually a positive thing and meeting new people is exciting and interesting, but I had little view of that.
After graduation, I needed a summer job to build up some savings for the school year, and my friends had been babysitting for years and said how good the pay was. I had always loved to be with children but being responsible for the wellbeing and happiness of a young child worried me. The other thing that scared me was the actual interaction, with both the parents and the kids. I was going to be spending 6 hours a day, 4 days a week with two children. Not to mention having to find things to entertain them with. I decided that I needed to be brave and do it, so I found a job with a family in my town. They had two kids, an 8 year old boy and a 10 year old girl. They had moved here two years ago from Europe. I went into this job with extreme anxiety that these children were going to hate me.
My first day with them was really awkward. I was extremely nervous and had no idea what to do or say. What does an 18 year old talk about with two kids? As the day went on, I started to relax and talk more to them. We went to a park and had a picnic, and it was actually pretty fun. When I went home that night and reflected on my day I realized something that has stuck with me. This was the perfect way to work on my social anxiety. Kids don't care if I feel awkward at first. They don't care how much makeup you're wearing or if your clothes aren't name brand. They just want someone to play with them, laugh at their jokes, and give them attention. You can be yourself around them, and they will accept you no matter what music you listen to, how much acne you have, and anything else you can feel insecure about. So, through this experience, I learned how to be comfortable meeting new people and to truly be able to be myself around them, and that's all thanks to two kids, who have no idea they helped me in such an immense way.
