Dear Baby Sister,

Tomorrow, you will start your very first day of kindergarten. I cannot believe the time has already come for you to begin this huge adventure! In a way, this day seems as though it has taken forever to get here at the same time it's as if the time has flown by. You are the youngest of six, you were the surprise baby--yes, who took us all by storm--and who has made me so proud to be your big sister. I have seen all the big milestones you've reached. I was there when you were born, so little and innocent. I held you in my arms and fell in love with your smile, your laugh and your little hands. I watched in awe as you took your first step and as you stumbled around the living room marking this major milestone in your life with a smile on your face. I was there when you saw the ocean for the first time and for your first snow, you were so intrigued and curious about all things new. I witnessed the tantrum you threw as you got to bake Christmas cookies for the first time, because you didn't understand why they had to go into the oven. I watched as you wrote your letters for the first time and remember being so impressed when you wrote my name, too. I was there when you had your very first loose tooth and was so excited for the tooth fairy to come. I have seen the excitement in your eyes and curiosity you have developed about this great big world.

The past six years, I have taught you so much from learning how to draw various shapes to making duck lips using Pringles--and a lot more in between! I have watched as you mimic my behavior and follow my lead, and even with our 15-year age gap, you are the one who has taught me some of the most valuable lessons. You taught me there is always time for fun and giggles, whether it be after a long shift at work or at 2 in the morning--having fun and laughing is the best cure for everything! You always know just how to get me to smile even after a bad day. You taught me how to love unconditionally just as a child does and that hugs can fix just about anything. You have taught me patience, as we played numerous rounds of hide-and-seek--feeling as though I would forever be crouching behind the couch. You have taught me the best things in life are not planned and are completely unexpected just as you were when you came into this world. I have watched you grow into this beautiful, smart, curious, loving child over the past six years and I am beyond proud of all the things you have done this far in your short little life.

I know you are excited and so happy to be going to kindergarten. I know you are ready for this big change and you have incredible teachers at a really great school. I know you know how to spell your name and you know your colors and shapes. You have your backpack and lunchbox all ready to go, you have your first day of school outfit planned down to the socks and bow. You are ready to start this adventure, and yet even though I am so happy for you, I am so unbelievably terrified for this milestone in your life. I am so afraid of all of the things that could go wrong, of all the not so nice people that could cause you hurt, of all the frustrations and obstacles that lay in your path. I want to shelter you from the pain and hurt that others can cause. I want to keep you from ever being left out or lonely during your next thirteen years of school (plus more if you choose to go off to university). I know how kids can be, so cruel and hurtful with their words. I want to keep you from all the mean things that absorb this world. I want to make sure you will make friends and that you will fit in. I worry about the problems you will have and the struggles you will face. I worry about the "what ifs" and who will be there for you if you are afraid or too shy to ask for help. I worry about the future and how this first day will be the beginning of so much more than just school. This will be the beginning of a whole new part of your life. I worry about all the things that could go wrong and I want to hug you tight and keep you so small and so innocent forever.

The worries and what ifs lurk my mind but I know you are going to be just fine. I know you have to grow up--you can't be six years old forever. I know this means you will have to go through all of the things I want so desperately to protect you from. I know you will have days where you don't know where to go or the how to spell a word. I know you will cry tears of frustration over your homework and feel like giving up. I know you will have fights with your friends and swear you will think it is the end of the world. I know at times you may be left eating lunch alone or playing by yourself on the playground. I know you may run into people who are not so nice and they will say mean things. I know you will fall down and get hurt. I know you will have days when you come home and say everything was fine, even when it wasn't. I know you will have friends who leave you and friends who betray you. I know you may not make a team or win a race. I know you may fail or do bad on a test. I know you may mess up and get in trouble. I know you may have days where you feel you did everything wrong and there will be days when you want to just cry.

However, I want you to know that I love you more than anything and that no matter what you face, I'm your big sister and I am always here for you. I am here to be the one you go to when you feel you can't go to mom, dad or one of your other sisters. I am here to wrap you up in a big hug and give you encouraging words. I am here to remind you to never give up and calm you when you get frustrated. I am here to help you memorize your flashcards and study for your tests. I am here to help you finish your projects that you will wait until the last minute to start on. I am here to tell you all about how I overcame the same obstacles you are facing, and also remind you that you don't have to be the best at everything. I am here to recall all the many times I too got in trouble and assure you that it is not the end of the world. I am here to joke with you when you need a laugh and wipe your tears when you need to cry. I am here to snuggle with you after a long week and watch your favorite movie with you. I am here to pick you up when you fall and congratulate you when you succeed. Most importantly, I am here to remind you that you are loved, you are smart, you are beautiful, and that I am here to tell you that no matter how anyone may make you feel, you will never be alone because I am always here.

Tuesday morning, you will walk into that school with your backpack on and your new outfit with a matching bow, you will begin this long exciting journey. This journey filled with ups and downs, twists and turns and lots of memories to hold onto. You will learn so much and grow so much more. I will shed a tear or two thinking about how you are growing up way too fast and how time needs to slow down. I will say a little prayer every night and every morning that you will be safe and you will have the courage to stand up, the strength to keep your head up, the bravery to face your fears and the smile to keep you going. I will, once again, watch in awe as you take those first steps marking this major milestone with a smile on your face and I will always be right here for you, watching as you grow!

Love always,

Your big sis!! <3