As the proud parent of exactly zero children, I have to acknowledge that I have exactly zero authority to give parental advice (and let's be honest, if I did, it would probably come to disastrous results. "Little Timmy wants to leap from the top bunk onto the couch on the other side of the room? Just give the kid a helmet, he'll be fine!")
However, as a member of the general public, and especially as someone whose childhood is admittedly not very far in the past, I can't help but question the budding trend that can only be described as Hipster babies.
You've seen it. Whether on Tumblr, Instagram, or stumbling down the street with a finger up their nose, you have almost definitely encountered a Hipster baby. This is the four-year-old kid in tiny aviator sunglasses, a knit beanie, skinny jeans, three layers of tiny button-ups and elbow-patch cardigans, and suede shoes that he can't even put on by himself.
This kid looks great. This kid looks fly. This kid looks like he stepped straight out of an American Apparel ad... and this kid definitely did not dress himself.
Disregarding the undeniable envy toward people who can afford to dress their children like this (do you know how dirty babies get? do you know how quickly they grow? how many pairs of tiny suede shoes can you afford??), I fundamentally disagree with dressing your child up like a miniaturized version of that 20-something couple who just held up the line at the coffee shop.
Children need to play. They need to run, jump, dance, get dirty, fall down--this is significantly harder to do when they have on four layers and perfectly coiffed hair and they have to pause every ten minutes to pose for another Instagram photo. That, I think, is where I really take issue with the trend--parents using their children as fashion accessories to emphasize how cool and fashionable THEY are.
And honestly, it's kind of unsettling; there's this weird blurring of the lines between what is appropriate for children and for adults. As much as I wish every day that it would be socially acceptable for me to leave the house in pajamas and Iron Man flip-flops, that is something that I have reluctantly left (mostly) in my childhood. When you're dressing your kid in meticulously matched outfits and designer clothing, you're robbing them of the one time in their lives when they can wear literally whatever they want and not be judged for it. Let your children be children. Let them pick out Crocs and hideous sequined shirts and wear every color of the rainbow at once, because they can. Because it's fun for them. Because, let's be real, light up shoes are the best thing since sliced bread and should be celebrated as such. Clothing is self-expression for children just as much as it is for adults; would you want someone to take that away from you?
I get that kids pick out ridiculous things sometimes. I get that there are certain events that call for your child NOT looking like they got dressed in the dark out of a possibly-dirty laundry hamper. And I get that some children genuinely enjoy dressing up like tiny adorable hipsters. But when they're still drooling on themselves and struggling to stay on two feet, I'd have to imagine they don't particularly give a shit that the pants they just soiled are Gucci or that the ice cream stain on their shirt doesn't match their shoes.
Children are not mannequins to dress up and parade around how stylish you are. They are people, tiny people, with their own thoughts and emotions and yes, their own fashion sense. Some day they will have to put on a blazer and sensible shoes and comb their hair and go to work--let the kid wear a Batman costume to the mall while she still can.
Who knows, maybe it's just the child in me who has vivid, fond memories of the bizarre outfits I put together for myself--I just can't help but get freaked out when I see a two-year-old who looks like he should be interviewing me for a job at Urban Outfitters.
