1. Say just a little too much

I'll admit, I'm a pretty long-winded individual. I'm not one to hit people with a one-word response. In fact, I generally have a 10-word minimum.

So, when people come up to the shop and ask me, "How's your day going?" I'm not going to hit them with a simple "Fine." No, odds are I'm going to say something like, "It's going alright. I'm a little tired, but I think it's because I stayed up last night writing a paper. At least I got it done, though. It was kind of a close call there at the end, because my computer died right when I was. . ."

The conversation continues, with me accidentally babbling and the customer trying to politely inch away from my endless tirade.

2. Say just a little too little

Sometimes I get a customer who actually wants to have a conversation. They'll come up and ask something like, "Are you here alone?" or "Do you work every night?" which are both super good introductions into a perfectly good customer-barista exchange.

Then I ruin it with either a short "Yup" or just nodding, thoroughly killing any future conversation opportunities.

It's not their fault. I'm just a derp.

3. Use super obscure slang

Which brings me to my next point. Weird words and phrases will come out of my mouth and they're either misinterpreted or missed altogether.

I once said "Alrighty dighty" to a customer, a weird rhyme-thing I say throughout my own life, and the horrified customer thought I called him "daddy."

Trust me, the five embarrassing minutes it took to explain that I'm just weird, not trying to slide into his DM's was awkward for both parties.

4. Comment of their life decisions

Look, I'm typically not a judgmental person. I'm in college too, so if someone comes up to the shop and orders a latte with five extra espresso shots, I'm making that drink with extra love and sympathy.

That being written, I'm terrible at making random comments about orders that make people feel weird about their purchases. I don't do it all the time, but when I do, it's pretty bad. I once told someone that a Clif Bar was good for his colon because of the fiber.

Yes. That is indeed a true story.

5. Fail quite spectacularly at reading the room

I typically have a high-output happiness level. Combine that with the fact that I'm in retail mode at work, and you have one happy Marisa running around.

Some customers, then, will come up, dragging their feet and looking very dejected at the thought of spending yet another night at the library, and I'll greet them with a highly unwanted "Hi! What can I getcha!?"

6. Sprinkle in some song and dance

Okay. I close alone. I get bored. When I'm bored, I'll start singing and dancing like I'm in "Barista: The Musical." I've been surprised by many a people who've witnessed me making up my own line dance to some random Italian song.

I don't know what it's like to experience it from the other side of the counter, but I'm sure it's quite awkward.

7. Add in lots of noises

Sometimes, especially when I haven't had another customer in a hot minute, I forget how to use the English language. So, when someone comes up and says the inevitable, "Hi, I'd like a Rock Chalk latte," I might respond with the incredibly eloquent, "Rock 'n roll, and what shize ish . . . I mean, what size didcha, did you, medium?"

Then I cap it off with a hysterical laugh and try the sentence again, ignoring my customer's wide eyes and slow nod.

If you've ever suffered from one of the above at my hands, just know that I adore you and that it's not because I mean to. I'm just awkward.