Throughout most of my life, I have yearned for friends – companions who I could rely on to give me advice, help me when I’m struggling, or join me as I embarked on an adventure. More importantly, I hoped to do these same things for them in return. I remember being particularly enthusiastic to make friends when I had my first year at university.
I joined several different clubs, tried talking to anyone who would give me the light of day, and desperately attempted to make myself interesting. I learned how to dance, play chess, discuss politics and philosophy, write poetry, etc. I wish I could have told myself to relax a little because there were a lot of dangers and problems with my efforts.
In my bid to have friends, I disregarded the flaws and problematic actions some of my friends took when I was with them. I let myself accept them as my people even though I did not particularly like them. Some of them did truly awful things. If I were to encounter these same individuals when I was in high school, I would have immediately found ways to criticize their actions, and I would have never been friends with them. By leaving my hometown and moving to another location, however, I became desperate for a friend group, and I forgot the importance of making enemies.
Trying your best to make friends with as many people as possible is a very admirable and, sometimes, necessary quality for a good person to have. However, it’s important to remember that you can’t and shouldn’t be friends with everyone. There are plenty of unlikable individuals out in the world – no one should have to force themselves to be around people they don’t like.
I learned this significant lesson when I was attending speaker broadcasts for one of my honor societies. You have to know who you don’t like, who you like, and why. Who are your enemies, and who are your friends? Once you have figured this out, you can come to a couple decisions about what you want to do. I always ask myself the following question: Do you want to help them become better people or do you want to avoid them? I typically choose the former.
Doing this is a big risk though. Should that person choose to not make good decisions, it is out of the hands of anyone who may want to give them help. I have had to learn that lesson the hard way.
Sometimes, it is better to mark them as enemies. Everyone has people they consider enemies, whether those people be politicians, tyrants, or criminals. When I refer to enemies, though, I am referring to personal enemies. Enemies who could be your friends if you excused some of their behavior. These individuals should not be excused if they collide with what you consider to be right or wrong.
Recognize your self-worth, identify your moral compass, and reject the people who think wrongfully more often than they think rightfully.
