The 12X19ft dorm room that you will be crammed into as freshman will feel much smaller at times. This shoe box of a home that you will study in, eat in, sleep in, socialize in and cry in will be chalked full of memories, and will also be the home of a relationship that can go either way. This is the guide of how to not kill your freshman year roommate.
1. Predict potential conflict:
Are you the kind of person who always forgets to take out the trash? If so, let your roommate know. Communication is the most important thing when living with someone new, new meaning new to you as a person or just living with them for the first time regardless of how long you've known them. Maybe it isn't the trash, maybe it’s cleaning the fridge, or something else of the same relatively small caliber, but anything can be blown out of proportion and turned into a large issue.
2. Go into things with an open mind!
Yes, if you go random, there is inevitable Facebook stalking that will occur once you receive your roommate. Don’t judge based off profile picture likes or photos; wait until you actually get to know the person before judging. You get to know someone really well when you live with them, and one of the worst things you can do is go into your freshman year dorm with a negative tint when it comes to your roommate.
3. Be able to take constructive criticism:
If you are good at communicating with your roommate, but when they confront you about something you do that they don’t like, things can get sticky. Getting defensive can make things even worse than if no confrontation had ever taken place at all. Being able to admit when you are wrong and work to change your behaviors to accommodate to the person you share the sometimes cubicle sized feeling space with.
4. Never, I repeat, never confront your roommate when you are angry.
If there is anything bothering you, pick the right time to talk to your roommate about it! Having a calm disposition can work wonders when talking about difficult things. Not only this, but you will never have the problem of them turning anger back on you if they get mad at you
5. Surprise them with little thoughtful surprises periodically.
Knowing your roommate and giving them their favorite candy before a big test can completely make someone's day. It doesn’t matter if they do it back for you or not, it’s the small things that can really make a difference, break the ice or help them get through a tough patch which can then also improve your living situation.
6. Compromise!
Talking about things like how hot or cold you are going to keep the room, and figuring out a middle ground can help avoid potential issues. While compromising can technically be called a situation where no one really wins, everyone wins when no one fights!
7. Take that stupid contract that dorms make you do somewhat more seriously than you want to.
When that was first presented to me, my first thought was “Do you think I’m a 12 year old camper who needs to be told not to touch other's belongings and that sharing is caring?” but looking back, I totally regret not actually taking advantage of that situation. Creating rules on your own with just your roommate can be an uncomfortable situation. Usually something happens which prompts a new rule, but if you make them before hand, those situations can be avoided. General guidelines can be so incredibly useful no matter how stupid and petty they may seem.
8. Remember to have fun!
Yes, there’s a ton of potential conflict and opportunity for things to go wrong, but keep in mind that your freshman year roommate is someone who can become your best friend, or even stand up at your wedding telling ridiculous stories from your time in college. The people you meet in college are people that are going to have a huge effect on your life. They will be your family for the next four years, and friends for life.
