I'm so happy for my friends when they get into relationships, but that doesn't mean they get to have control over my love life, and that is what bothers me. For the record, I've been in four relationships, one lasting for three years, so I do understand relationships.
Just because I am single and you are not, does not mean you have ANY control on my love life, get to make decisions for me, have the power to give me orders on how to "get a boyfriend." Frankly, I don't care. First of all, some of you have had one and only one relationship, when I have had FOUR. And yeah those relationships didn't work out, but what makes you so sure yours will?
What bothers me is when I'm talking about being single and my friends tell me "well if you did this, this, and that," or "well this is how I got my boyfriend to be interested in me." Bruh. I don't care. I really don't. Am I not allowed to be single and happy?! TF?! News flash to all my taken friends: I AM happy single! Yes, I do make jokes about being single, or I'll complain about it. But let's be real here, I have learned so much about myself while being single for this long, and I have grown as a person. And honestly, I have a hard time seeing you guys grow as individuals when you are literally always all over your boyfriends.
Sometimes I do wish I had a boyfriend, I do. I have such a big heart. Like. So big. And I love sharing that love and affection with others. I loved having a boyfriend for that reason. I didn't like having a boyfriend because then I wasn't alone, and I think that is where some of you guys are getting seriously confused.
I don't care about being alone! I looooove being alone. It is MY time. My freaking time to just chill out and listen to music or rewatch "How I Met Your Mother" for the 18th time. So, please stop saying, "Well if you had a boyfriend, you wouldn't have to be alone all the time! Like, I'm always with my boyfriend."
First of all, that is not healthy. You do not need to see your boyfriend every waking minute. If you can't go a week without seeing your boyfriend... you are in an unhealthy situation girlfriend. During my first semester of college, I would go weeks or a month without seeing my boyfriend, and we were FINE. That is not even close to why we broke up. When I do get in a relationship again, it will not be because I am lonely, it will be because I am strong and confident enough to have a boyfriend again and have a healthy relationship KNOWING we don't have to see each other constantly.
On confidence... I am freaking confident. I love who I am, I love the person I am becoming, I love the way I look — I love ME. And you know why I do? Because I was single during my early adult life and was able to figure out who the hell I am as an independent person.
When my ex and I have our monthly catchups, he will always tell me how much I have changed and how he is happy to see who I've become. How was I supposed to learn who I am when I was stuck with my boyfriend constantly? When I complain about my weight, when I say I wish my hair was longer, or I wish I was prettier — a boyfriend WILL NOT help me!
If you are telling me that if I had a boyfriend I would be happier with myself, you are just dumb. Do you really use your boyfriend for your own reassurance? Like, you can't look in the mirror and think to yourself "Hey, I look good today," no, you need your boyfriend to do that? I'm confused. Yes, I love getting complimented, and yes that comes with a relationship. But do not tell me I need a boyfriend to be happier with myself because that is so beyond immature and a mindset I refuse to get into at 20 years old.
And, let's get this straight. Stop, for the love of all that is Holy, stop pitying me. Are you serious? Do you think you have the actual right to pity me? Here's my take on this, when you guys come to me and complain to me about your relationships or boyfriends, I do not pity you guys. I don't. So why, because I am single, do you think you get to pity me? I do not need your pity. Even if I was a bitter and unhappy single, I do not need your freaking pity. That is beyond embarrassing and the last thing I want from a friend.
I am happy. I enjoy my life. I love learning about who I am as a person. I love having more time to focus on my future and career. I love everything about being single. Do I wish I had someone to share my love with? Yes, I do. But I don't wish for a boyfriend for the reasons you guys think I do. I am not unhappy being single, I enjoy it.
So, please stop pitying me. And, please stop thinking you get to have ANY take on my love life. Only I get to.
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