Dear Aunt Debbie,
Throughout my life, my knowledge of addiction has continued to expand. I don't believe everything I hear on the news or on social media. This past year dozens of celebrities have overdosed on various different drugs. It drives me crazy how ridiculously ignorant most people are about drug abuse. Addiction doesn't always start with a choice. A person could be immensely influenced by peers or forced into taking an addictive substance one day, causing a person to spiral into the cruel disease of addiction.
Throughout my life, I have dreamt of meeting you. I have imagined being able to come to you about anything. I wish I could have met you just one time.
You were taken from my family too soon, you were so young. My dad tells me stories about you all the time, and I wish I had stories of my own with you. He tells me how much an impact you made in his life; how you were his protector, always had his back, and always had the best advice. I only hope to try to be as good of a sister as you were.
You fell into some bad habits, but once you started you couldn't stop. I do not blame you; I just wish you could be here with me right now. Addiction is not a choice, but a disease. Once started using drugs it is almost impossible to stop, and I know this.
You started using as a teenager in the early 1980's. Back then drugs were the "cool thing" to do in Northern California, where you were living at the time. You started with weed, but followed with cocaine and eventually heroin. My dad informs me that it was a very long road, full of ups and downs. In 1994, you finally admitted yourself into a clinic, realizing that without help you could not beat heroine on your own. The boy you were dating at the time continued to abuse drugs, and when you were released he gave you cocaine. This is when you overdosed.
Again, I do not blame you for that choice you made. You tried to get help and fell back into your bad habits. I still wish you could be here.
I imagine you could have been one of my best friends, as you were for my dad. My dad tells me that I remind him of you.
I wish you could still be here for my dad. Your death changed him forever and has left a hole in his heart that has been too large to fill. He says that my brother and I have helped mask most of this pain. I am thankful for that. He tells me that when he looks at me, he sees everything you missed out on. Often times he gets emotional about not just your passing, but what a beautiful person you were, and how important you were to him.
It has been almost twenty-four years since your death back on October 27, 1994. My parents were in college carving pumpkins for Halloween when my dad got the news that you had overdosed. To this day, my family has still never carved a pumpkin. My brother and I have never attempted to carve one, and we probably never will.
I wish I could have met you. I wish you could have been at my parent's wedding. I wish you could see how talented my brother is. I wish you could continue to see how beautiful my mom is inside and out. I wish you could be here so my dad does not have to deal with your loss, and instead still have you. I wish you could continue to see how amazing your parents are. I wish you could have been here so I did not feel the need to write this article to you.
Love,
Your niece
To everyone out there who is struggling with addiction I am reaching out to you. Please get help. Please try to get better from this terrible disease. You are worthy of a great, fulfilling life.
SAMHSA's National Helpline- 1-800-662-4357 (SAMHSA's National Helpline is a free, confidential, 24/7, 365-days-a-year treatment referral and information service (in English and Spanish) for individuals and families facing mental and/or substance use disorders.)
To anyone who has someone in their lives struggling with drug abuse, please be patient. Please understand that most times they are doing the best they can. Please be there to help, and please do not leave them in their time of need.
#stopthestigma
