Attributes Of A Desirable Partner.

Attributes Of A Desirable Partner

Three characteristics of someone reevaluated as desirable instead of being avoided.

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Communicating with others is not a skill I possess. I wish conveying my feelings and ideas to others were an easy feat for me. It would stop awkward pauses and misunderstandings. It would make romantic companionship a strong possibility in my life instead of a seldom acquired luxury.

A few people have stated that good communication is a quality they look for in a romantic partner. And while I agree that yes, there are multiple advantages to being with someone who articulates well, what about those of us who don't? Is expert communication the be-all-end-all of every relationship?

There are other skills besides communication that makes one a good partner.

Being a good listener. Showing empathy. Having an open mind. Displaying patience. Problem-solving skills. Spontaneity. Imagination. Creativity.

If everyone communicated the exact same way, there would be a limited way the world would be experienced. Communicating in only one way means only one point of view is available. There are no gray areas in debates and opinions because everyone could only express themselves one way. There also would be a need for multiple languages. The basis of communication is understanding. A language that is foreign means that no understanding is to be had. So they'd have to go. If everyone were expert communicators, there would be no diversity in the world.

Good mental health has also been named as a good attribute of a partner. Again, I agree that this is also a good attribute for a romantic partner. There's a greater chance for unintended miscommunications and past traumas clouding situations when dealing with someone who's mentally ill. And again I ask, is mental health the be-all-end-all of a relationship?

Offering a different point of view is also a good attribute to bring into a relationship. Emotional awareness, compassion, common sense, maturity, and decency. All these other attributes are what makes someone a good partner.

Painting a broad picture of good mental health as the standard for someone is a disservice. I believe people are more than their mindset. Our mindsets influence our actions and thoughts a great deal, but our minds are not who we are complete. That would mean all that we are is in our minds and nowhere else. We'd have no souls, we'd have no hearts, we'd have no conscience, and we'd have no drive. Do people secretly wish to be coupled with spotless mindless drones? What happened to character?

Clinginess is the last thing people want their significant other to be. Clingy individuals have filled anxiety. They're filled with jealousy and fear. Their rationales are clouded. And who wants to be stalked? Being carefree can't be the be-all-end-all of a good relationship.

I know it sounds crazy, but those who are clingy do tend to have other things to offer. The ability to love, strategy, thinking on their feet, empathy, problem-solving, time management skills, deductive reasoning, determination, motivation. Who wouldn't want someone who keeps their eyes on their prize?

Clinginess comes about for many reasons; however, someone worthy should have the patience and will to comfort a partner who clings to them. Not avoid them at all costs and encourage others to do the same. People grow and then people change. Being someone who helps someone through their trials and tribulations is a bad trait to have as well.

The point of all this is to argue that perceived "bad" things about a person shouldn't be deal breakers for a romantic relationship. I don't think there's one person out there who is completely unlovable. Who are we to shame someone's characteristics so that they can't pursue a common human desire? To receive and give romantic love. The next time you run across someone clingy, afflicted with a mental illness, or has a passive-aggressive communication style, think about this piece. And think if that person were you. Would you want someone to tell you that you'll find love because of how you are?

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21 Reasons You Should Date Someone Who Was A Camp Counselor

Spouse and parent material, all wrapped up in an animal shirt, Nike shorts, and Chacos.
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1. They shop at Goodwill mostly... low maintenance you could say?

SEE ALSO: The ABC's Of Summer Camp

2. They are pretty awesome at talking to parents... opening days have given good practice for them. Give them 15 minutes and they will become best friends with your parents.

3. Their best friends actually are long distance...so you can wait a while to meet their besties who will want to know everything about you and make sure your intentions are good.

4. They have learned how to look decently presentable without showering for a week... maybe two...you may or may not like this one.

5. They are always down for adventure... sure let's hike for eight miles uphill in the middle of the week!

6. They know what it is like to be woken up at 2 a.m. because someone wet their bed... mom training.

7. They also know how to give the "modest is hottest" talk to the teenage campers... and will help give you a classy future daughter.

8. Building fires is their hidden talent... if you ever get stuck on a deserted island with them they can help you.

9. Animal shirts are a common clothing item... they know how to have fun.

10. They throw killer dance parties... ones your grandma would approve of.

11. They are used to being publicly embarrassed for others (their campers') enjoyment... and usually can take a joke or prank well.

12. They also know how to prank you back... summer camp prepares you for awesome prank wars.

13. If you want to see her with no makeup on just look at her camp photos... natural beauty?

14. They actually love children... they chose to spend a whole summer loving other people's kids; imagine how awesome they will treat their own.

15. Chances are they are a really fun person and will bring out your inner child... yes, climb that random tree and paint your face because it is Wednesday.

16. Their "real job" will come later in life... they will end up being successful. Most employers love to hire former counselors, so it is not a waste of a summer.

17. They know how to hide their favorites in life really well... so if they choose to date you they are basically saying you are their favorite and that is a big deal to them.

18. They have learned how to eat unhealthy food every day for a whole summer and stay in shape... or try to at least.

19. They also are obviously not a diva when it comes to material needs...they went a whole summer without even air conditioning and never complained.

20. If they love you anything like they love their campers your needs will always be put first...they are some of the most selfless people you will ever meet.

21. They love God, living for Him, and have already made a difference in many children's lives... they are the real MVPS.

If you are still looking for a place to work this summer and love adventure, Jesus, and children, apply for Camp Crestridge for Girls; they still have many positions available. I'll be there so you should too!

If you are a boy apply for Camp Ridgecrest for Boys!

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You've Heard Of 'How To Be Single,' But Let's Talk About 'How To Be Romantic'

For some of us, it takes work to be cutesy and romantic.

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Okay, I'm probably the least romantic person anyone has ever met. Not to say that I'm a bad girlfriend or that I'm not caring. I just find love in simple things like knowing what to order for them at restaurants, doing their laundry, planning unique dates, or cooking for them. It's not that I'm opposed to being arduous, I've just never been a chocolate and flowers kind of girl. I'm more of a Mongolian hot pot and "let's walk across the Brooklyn Bridge!" kind of girl. I appreciate some effort, tailoring something to fit a person's idiosyncratic personality or general spontaneity, not how flowery something looks. Not saying that I'm not feminine, I'm just my own entity, so to speak, and that translates into my love life. Needless to say, I thought I should learn how the other half lives, so I've challenged myself to take a course on being a classic/hopeless romantic just to understand how others think and who knows I might change some of my habits!

1. Leave notes

I think it's a really cute and simple idea that I will try to do because it makes everything very personal.

2. Write them a poem

I've had this done for me but I've never actually done it, because believe it or not, I didn't like to read or write poems up until this year.

3. Cuddling

Okay, so I'm not a cuddler, I have no idea why — it's more or less a personal space and attachment issue, I guess. I love hugs though! I guess I just have to be in the mood to cuddle and at times I can be. Other times it just makes me nervous.

4. Dedicate a song to them on the radio

It seems like the people on the radio that do this are crazy in love and honestly, to be able to have the ability to go on the radio and just declare your love for someone else is really inspiring.

5. Surprise them!

I personally cannot stand surprises, but I love to surprise other people and just be spontaneous, so I sort of do this already.

6. Carve your names into a tree

I've thought about doing this, but I've never got around to it, so I promise one day I will.

7. Go see a romantic movie

Nope, nope, I'll barf! Not happening, strictly horror movies for this girl, sorry!

8. Make them a care package

See, this makes me think a lot about what really defines romantic, because I do this all the time, but I don't consider it romantic, I just think it's sweet.

9. Take a walk on the beach together

I've done this, but I have to be doing this while looking for seashells or I feel like I'll be bored.

10. Make a CD for them

"THE PERKS OF BEING A WALLFLOWER," CHARLIE IS QUAKING.

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