There's a small age gap between myself and the rest of my collegiate buds. A few years really doesn't change much. However, some of my favorite childhood movies may have missed the rest of you (she said with the condescension of a tribe elder). "Atlantis: The Lost Empire" came out in 2001, so I was a mere 5-years-old. Some of you were still peeing in diapers at that point. I'm not judging, of course. (It just means that I'm older and wiser, child.)
Anyway, if you were too young to experience this movie when it came out, below are some reasons why you should watch it. Hell, even if you have seen it, watch it again! It's awesome!
1. Jokes that You Missed When You Were a Kid
This is one of those movies that you can re-experience as an adult with new eyes and a dirty sense of humor.
2. Multiple Crazy Old Guys
I will watch anything with a whackjob in it.
If your boat sinks, you pull a Rose and grab a door to float on. If your sub sinks, you're even more screwed than Jack was. The stakes are already higher and more awesome.
4. Feminine Figures that are Physically Impossible, But Still Somehow Inspiring
I gotta get to the gym so I can wear one of those blue bikini things...
5. The Nerd Gets the Girl
Spoiler alert, except not really. Plus, let's face it. The nerds needed a win.
6. Bitter Old Woman
Don't tell me there's no roles in Hollywood for women of a certain age. This broad is fantastic.
7. Unnecessary Explosives
...and the crazy Soviet in charge of them.
I know this is in a similar vein as the previous one, but I wanted to round this list out to an even number…
9. Hover Crafts
10. A Mole Person
That filthy bastard is so endearing.
This movie also has the added allure of being about a natural mystery, which is always fun. I am 21, and my favorite topic of conversation is the same as when I was five: the spooky and inexplicable. What happened to Amelia Earhart? The Roanoke Colony? Princess Anastasia? And what is UP with the Bermuda Triangle?? *Breathes heavily* Sorry, I digress...
Of course, this isn't a daunting movie. Some reviews from way back when say that it was too scary and intense...those people were wusses. If you're getting overwhelmed by a cartoon action movie, you need to work on your inner grit. These are the people who scrupulously avoid cracks on the sidewalk and dab grease off of pizza (be an American and EAT IT). Phew, sorry. Had to get that off my chest...back to work...
"Atlantis" is definitely for people who compulsively watch Disney movies as adults (go ahead and show yourself, don't be shy). Need a break from gratuitous sex and violence? This is your ticket to ride.
And as always, it's available on Netflix.