It doesn’t matter whether its Bonnaroo, Firefly, Coachella, or any other music festival, there is going to be an eclectic group of people surrounding you. You may camp beside them or have to spend an hour waiting for a show with them, but they are there. Here’s a list of the most common characters you are definitely going to have a run-in with at your next festival:
1.The Druggie That’s Not Really Sure How They Even Got In
This person is usually middle-aged and happens to walk by your campsite about 15 times a day and doesn’t remember any of the trips. They are usually selling drugs, but happen to have ingested more of their supply on their way to the festival. They don’t know any artists, they probably cant even tell you the name of this festival, but they sure are having an amazing time.
2. The Naked Girl That You Didn't Realize Was Naked Because Body Paint
You're either sickened by her or amazed by her, but either way you are staring at her. Why is she naked? What purpose does the body paint have? Why don’t I have the guts to do that? These are all questions asked as you stare at her while she's rocking the body confidence you wish you could have - and for that, we commend her. Props to you, naked lady, props to you.
3. The Passed Out Friend
“Hey, is your friend ok?” “How is she sleeping during Mumford & Sons?” “Yeah, now your friend is throwing up. I don’t think she’s sleepy anymore…” Everyone wants to have a good time but how much fun can sleeping through the headliner really be? The answer is none.
4. Your Neighbors
They are whom you are camping with and if you are lucky they are whom you go to shows with, eat with, and hold the funnel of a beer bong off the top of a van while you have the other end in the bed of a truck with. Treat these people with respect and you might luck out and have them offer you a burger … or five burgers.
5. The "How Do You Look Like An Actual Human Right Now" Person
Let’s face it: you have all these plans and outfits in your mind that are going to be more than Instagram-worthy, but the truth, is none of those happen. Get all your cute pictures on the first day, because after that, you are going to be a greasy, sweaty, muddy mess. 90% of the rest of the crowd will be too, so there's no need to worry. The real question is: how do the 10% look like they just stepped off the festival red carpet? They have fresh makeup and completely dirt-free skin. These are the people who rent hotels and have wasted money because they wont have the complete festival experience. Ignore them. You’re having more fun.
6. The One Who Always Thinks Last Year Was Better
Their all-time favorite artist might be there and they still will think last year was better. Their camping spot was better last year. The weather was better last year. Lineup times were better last year. Everything was better last year… to them. They are living in the past and want you to know that, while you were doing something else, they were at this same festival - but last year’s better version of it. Get over yourself; you will be saying the same thing about this exact festival when you are back at it next year.
No matter whom you meet at a festival, they aren’t going to make or break your time. You may even be one of these six people. Let’s face it, you’re at a music festival and so are all of these people. It’s time to face the music and accept that you have at least one thing in common with them: you know how to jam out.
