Within the past couple of years, there seems to have been a steady increase in the greedy need for money and power. More men and women are ditching the stay-at-home lifestyle for something that they believe to be more ambitious. While there is absolutely nothing wrong with this, there IS something wrong with the fact that men and women who make the decision to be a stay-at-home parent are looked down upon or shamed for not “trying a little harder.” The number of times I personally have been assumed to be a “gold-digger” or “unambitious” because I aspire to be a stay-at-home mom is kind of disgusting. Let me provide you with my own definition of the three so that we no longer get them confused.
Gold-digger: Someone who uses another or fakes a relationship for the other person’s wealth, with the luxury of not needing to work to survive and thrive.
Unambitious: To not be motivated or driven by a strong desire or determination to succeed.
Stay-at-home Mom: Someone who dedicates their lives to taking care of their children, husband, and home. They give all of their time and energy to a 24 hour a day job, with no breaks.
Now, OF COURSE we all want to be rich and hope for a partner that can financially support our families, so it is understandable as to how one could be mistaken for the other. In today's world, it is important to know the difference. I do believe that there are more than enough true gold-diggers out there but that being said, I also believe that there are people out there who truly aspire to be the binding to their future family.
For those of you who have never had any experience in babysitting or working in some type of daycare, you probably have a very small idea of how stressful it was for your own parent(s) to raise you. Who bathed you, cooked your meals, and changed your diapers? Your stay-at-home parent! Who kept your house in order, drove you around, and was your personal tutor? Your stay-at-home parent! Who was the first person to always back you up, your emotional support, and most importantly your number one cheerleader? Your stay-at-home parent! Without your stay-at-home parent, whether it was your mom or dad, who would you be today if they hadn’t been around?
Here are some shocking facts that may help to get my point across:
-“According to a clinical review published in 2009 in the "Michigan Family Review," factors such as nonstandard work schedules and financial stress may have a negative impact on a child's social, emotional and behavioral development, resulting in issues like behavioral problems and poor academic performance.” (Livestrong.com)
-“In 1967, 49 percent of mothers were stay-at-home mothers. That proportion steadily dropped through the decades until 1999, when only 23 percent of moms stayed at home.” (Bureau of Labor Statistics)
-“From 1985 to 1994, the rate of murder committed by teens, ages 14-17, increased 172 percent… From 1989 to 1994, the arrest rate for violent crimes (murder, rape, robbery and aggravated assault) rose over 46 percent among teenagers.” (Bureau of Justice)
From a more political standpoint, maybe these statistics are not directly correlated, but there is enough evidence to say that they are in some relation to each other. The youth today lives in a significantly more violent community and we can see that teenage pregnancy is also a trending effect. Had these children grown up with a stay-at-home parent, would the outcome of their lives be different? It is said that violence in children and multiple deteriorated marriages is a reflection of a poor home life.
According to various research projects, being a stay-at-home parent is one of the hardest and most stressful jobs in America. A stay-at-home parent has the ability to shape their children and communities, and through that they can change the world. Maybe the secret to world peace is good parenting and a dedicated spouse?
Who is to say that the emotional and physical supporter of the family is any less important than the financial supporter of the family? Both are equally necessary for a healthy family dynamic.
So here I am, putting an endless amount of hours into my multiple jobs and a sh*t ton of money into my degree. I do not aspire to be the CEO of my own company, nor do I aspire to be a journalist for the New York Times. Those are just my back-up plans if I am not fortunate enough to live my dream. Aspiring doctors dream of saving lives, aspiring lawyers dream of finding justice, but I dream of positively impacting the world by displaying an unbreakable marriage, being a full time care-taker and educating the youth in love, and overall by being a light to my community through my family.
