I've been doing a great deal of cynical reading this quarter. A great deal of philosophical, theoretical essays written by genius people that I will never be able to be as smart as ever about the nation, nationalism, identity and the various systems that we partake in. I would definitely recommend everyone to take the time to read some of these pieces by Benedict Anderson, Ernest Gellner, Micheal Billing, Max Weber and various other theorists, but prepare to strap in for a few hours (if not an ridiculous amount more) of a difficult roller coaster ride.

I can make them concise into one sentence though (everyone should still read the readings though): The human race is horribly complex and the systems we've created are doomed, thus we are doomed.

I know. What a fact. What a realization. What a statement. What a way to start your day.

But constantly reading these types of writing on why we're doomed and why we've ended up here really gets you feeling some type of way. A pessimistic hopelessness that as a young person, we shouldn't have. A really sad realistic view on how the world works. An honest, out-of-the-body experience on our ultimate doomed fate as a human race. Yet, I appreciate it.

At this moment, I can't believe what a naive and ignorant person I was. I was truly living the life of the motto, " Ignorance is bliss." I was an optimist and an idealist without understanding how the world actually worked. I thought I knew, but now I know I didn't. And I probably will continue to feel this way as I continue reading this type of material.

However, I am so happy that I feel this way and that I understand the world better now. This experience, I think, is extremely similar to my article on my emotions this quarter. If you don't understand what the world is like realistically, just as when you don't understand negative emotions, then you can't fully understand what the idealistic viewpoint is, nor completely understand and feel positive emotions. It's strange how that works, but I've experienced and lived through it this entire quarter and can say that for me, this is really working.

And I think lots of people forget, or simply don't know yet what questions to ask themselves, why they're doing what they're doing, from what system(s) they could be a result of, what other people are a result of, where their thoughts are coming from, why some people do the things that they do, and the list could go on. But taking the time to ask these questions, I believe, is crucial to finding the answers to fundamental questions of the numerous flaws in our systems. Taking a step back and looking at the bigger picture as well as understanding that we are a result, and a part of the bigger system and that we may not be as autonomous within this system as we may believe we are.

So next time you get in an argument, you are discussing politics, you see a struggling friend, you hear about Trump, you walk at a protest, you think that the questions asked in this article are a waste of time and pointless or anything really as benign as walking your dog, think about why and maybe you'll find a deeper answer to some of the questions, big and small, that humans have the capacity to answer numerous times in their life.