Asking For Help

Asking For Help

Finding the bravery in you to reach out a hand and call for help...
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The thing about pain,

Is it won’t last forever,

And it kills you right now,

But with time it gets better,

The thing about scars,

Is they all start to fade,

Until nothing is left,

Of the cuts that were made,

The thing about today,

Is there’s always tomorrow,

And if you can’t find your smile

I have one you can borrow,

The thing about help,

Is beside you it stands,

But it won’t know it’s needed,

Unless you reach out your hand,

The thing about love,

Is you can’t feel it’s touch,

Until you let someone know,

That the world is too much.

Ernest Hemingway

As an older sister to two younger siblings, an aunt to two lovely little tots, a babysitter, and someone very involved in children’s ministry, I have experienced a lot of pouty faces.

The quivering lip. The droopy eyes. The sagging shoulders.

My oh my, I think I’ve seen it all…

But there is one little pouter that I will never ever forget.

She had one sibling and I was watching both of them for the first time. I could tell right away she was a girl who could work with attention. Within the first 5 minutes in their home, I had seen her dance, play the piano, sing, sword fight, and her collection of special trinkets.

She was so much fun and I loved her.

However, she began to love me less when her brother woke up from his nap. Suddenly my attention was split, and she wasn’t so sure how she felt about it.

I would play with her brother, and she’d follow me around, not saying anything, but sighing very loudly to herself and grumbling about how she did not want to be playing with him.

Finally, I asked her, “Is something wrong?”

And she said, “oh no, not at all,” and walked away.

I continued playing with her little brother until I realized there was a loud banging coming from upstairs.

I ran upstairs thinking about how only I could possibly ruin a first-time babysitting gig when I found this little girl casually banging on the floor with a giant toy.

“What are you doing?" I asked, "Is everything ok?”

She replied, “Yep, everything is fine.”

I went back down to play with the little one again when just a few minutes later, music began blaring from the radio upstairs. At this point, I had figured out the game, so I went upstairs shut her bedroom door and returned downstairs to resume playing with her little brother.

After this, the music stopped.

I went upstairs and peeked into her soft pink room quietly. I saw a lump under the covers shaking with sobs.

“Is everything ok?” I asked again.

“No! Will you please play with me?”

“All you had to do was ask.”

When we were little I think we all did this. Created some extravagant moment in order to get attention—when really all we needed to do was ask. When you’re young and learning to communicate feelings, this is great, but as we grow older and we continue to do this in different ways, it leads us to even more disappointment, than just lack of a playmate.

All of us come to a place when we just need a friend, a brother, sister, guide, mentor—but we don’t just need it, we want someone to notice that we need it.

So we wait, and we don’t ask for help. Or we create scenes so that maybe someone will notice that we’re not acting like ourselves, and will reach out.

But guys, not asking for help leads us to believe that we are all alone when we’re really not.

It is a common misconception in the church, that help will come to you miraculously. Because of this, we wait. We wait for a stranger to speak to us and know detail by detail what is happening in our lives. We wait for a person we highly admire to reach out and take a mentor-like initiative. We long for our friends or family to notice how we are feeling so that they can start the conversation.

But friends, why don’t we do these things?

We know how we are feeling, so we need to say it.

We know what we want, so we need to ask.

We know what is going on, so we need to explain.

God truly can work miracles, but sometimes He is calling us to reach out and ask for help. Sometimes His desire for us is that we begin to care for ourselves and initiate our own growth.

He wants us to reach out and invite Him in.

But we need to act.

I understand the desire to be noticed.

Understood.

Seen.

And maybe this is just one ask away.

The other day, I heard a wise speaker give this advice when searching for a mentor:

  1. Don’t be afraid to ask.
  2. Don’t take it personally if they say no.

Taking the initiative in a relationship requires bravery and vulnerability - one of the two scariest things in life.

But when we reach out we need to be confident in the fact that God has got us in his hands, and he will provide us with the relationships we need - but we have to act.

Just as Hemingway says…

The thing about help,

Is beside you it stands,

But it won’t know it’s needed,

Unless you reach out your hand...

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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To The Girl Struggling With Her Body Image

It's not about the size of your jeans, but the size of your heart, soul, and spirit.

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To the girl struggling with her body image,

You are more than the number on the scale. You are more than the number on your jeans and dresses. You are way more than the number of pounds you've gained or lost in whatever amount of time.

Weight is defined as the quantity of matter contained by a body or object. Weight does not define your self-worth, ambition or potential.

So many girls strive for validation through the various numbers associated with body image and it's really so sad seeing such beautiful, incredible women become discouraged over a few numbers that don't measure anything of true significance.

Yes, it is important to live a healthy lifestyle. Yes, it is important to take care of yourself. However, taking care of yourself includes your mental health as well. Neglecting either your mental or physical health will inflict problems on the other. It's very easy to get caught up in the idea that you're too heavy or too thin, which results in you possibly mistreating your body in some way.

Your body is your special, beautiful temple. It harbors all of your thoughts, feelings, characteristics, and ideas. Without it, you wouldn't be you. If you so wish to change it in a healthy way, then, by all means, go ahead. With that being said, don't make changes to impress or please someone else. You are the only person who is in charge of your body. No one else has the right to tell you whether or not your body is good enough. If you don't satisfy their standards, then you don't need that sort of negative influence in your life. That sort of manipulation and control is extremely unhealthy in its own regard.

Do not hold back on things you love or want to do because of how you interpret your body. You are enough. You are more than enough. You are more than your exterior. You are your inner being, your spirit. A smile and confidence are the most beautiful things you can wear.

It's not about the size of your jeans. It's about the size of your mind and heart. Embrace your body, observe and adore every curve, bone and stretch mark. Wear what makes you feel happy and comfortable in your own skin. Do your hair and makeup (or don't do either) to your heart's desire. Wear the crop top you've been eyeing up in that store window. Want a bikini body? Put a bikini on your body, simple.

So, as hard as it may seem sometimes, understand that the number on the scale doesn't measure the amount or significance of your contributions to this world. Just because that dress doesn't fit you like you had hoped doesn't mean that you're any less of a person.

Love your body, and your body will love you right back.

Cover Image Credit: Lauren Margliotti

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What A Blessing It Is To Have Been Loved By A Grandpa Like You

No one could ever replace your contagious giggle and radiating love.

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To my newest angel in heaven...

Grandpa Norb, I just wanted to write to you to let you know how great it is to be loved by a grandpa like you. With 4 children, 4 children in-law, 10 grandchildren and 9 great-grandchildren, we all know in our different ways your love for us. While you are no longer here, I am certain that you will always be watching over us and in our hearts.

Knowing you for 20 years, I can't imagine feeling more loved. Every holiday gathering started with you wishing a Merry Christmas, no matter the actual holiday. You always welcomed with a hug, and said goodbye with open arms, a kiss on the cheek and a whispered reminder that I am always in your prayers. Even with you no longer with us, I know you'll be watching over and praying for me as I carry on my steps in life.

Like a sunflower, you were always bright and smiling when I saw you. You showed your excitement when I walked in the room and made me feel lucky to be around you and overjoyed to know you just through your smile. You were the patriarch of our wonderful family standing tall and showering us with radiating love and goofiness.

Among us all, you loved Grandma with your whole heart and were married for 68 beautiful years. Watching her say goodbye has been one of the hardest things to see, but completely overpowering, the love you had for each other. As long as I knew you, I don't think I ever saw the two of you apart. The unconditional love that you had and always will feel for each other is one that I envy to have in my own relationships.

As almost two weeks have passed since God brought you to him, this is my goodbye to you. I will never forget the last good day I spent with you and Grandma together. I will think of you when I see yellow sunflowers standing tall and bright, and during thunderstorms as if it is you Grandpa Ray bowling together up in heaven.

I feel incredibly lucky to know you and have been loved by you for 20 of your 94 years, and I will always miss you.

Love,

Blondie.

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