I’d been praying for stability in my income. My prayer would sound something like this:

“God, if it’s your will, please provide more opportunities for income so that I can live more comfortably and live less day-to-day.”

Sounds okay, right? The problem, however, is that I expected God to bless me with further opportunities to earn money; more hours babysitting, more house sitting jobs, but I was being reckless with my income. Rather than saving and using the money for things that I needed, I was spending it on food (when I could have taken advantage of the food I had at home) and shopping (justifying sales as if that gave me leeway to spend money unwisely)—the ways to my heart.

It was naïve of me to think that as I continued to spend money on things I shouldn’t have that God was going to give me more opportunities to continue doing what I had been doing. Not that He couldn’t, God can obviously do what He wants, but I look at it this way: when I’m babysitting, if I give a child a cup of goldfish and he or she feeds the goldfish to the dog, I’m not going to refill their cup because they’re not learning to be responsible with what they have.

I sat down with my mom after I realized my lack of budgeting was becoming detrimental and she helped me make an outline of how much and where my money should be spent. After doing so, within only a few days I noticed a positive change in my bank account. I continued to pray the prayer I had been praying for weeks and finally, I noticed a steady increase in my hours and on top of further financial opportunity, I got offered a second babysitting job.

Through this, I not only realized God wasn’t saying no to my prayer, it just wasn’t time yet, but you praying for something God has already said no about in His word is absurd. You also can’t expect God to bless you if you’re not positioning yourself in a place where he can do so.

An example of this would be dating an unbeliever. You can pray that God will change their heart, but because His word calls us to be equally yoked, you can pray for God to bless the relationship but He’s already stated that he won’t. It’s just not going to happen. I would say that you can still pray for God's blessing and for Him to change the heart of the other person, but you can't blame God if the relationship doesn't work out or the person's heart doesn't change, and you certainly can't blame God for the heartbreak you'll experience if/when it ends because God told you to not be unequally yoked. I know this isn’t the same thing as my financial need, but if we’re not diligent, obedient, and do not use common sense (for lack of better words), we can’t expect blessings or things to work out in our favor.

Now, let me expound and be clear on my story from earlier. This is not the prosperity gospel. I am not saying that financial blessing is always the will of God if your faith and positive speech flourish. What I am saying is that God’s blessings often largely depend on our obedience, responsibility, and selflessness. Scripture says in James 4:3 that “[we] ask and do not receive, because [we] ask wrongly to spend it on [our] passions.” God doesn’t answer selfish requests that do not honor His name.

We know we will endure suffering and trials of many kinds. We shouldn’t expect blessing after blessing solely because we’re seeking Jesus or striving to glorify Him. Furthermore, you can’t expect to blessed at all if you’re lacking knowledge and discernment and making unwise decisions.

Although I was not deliberately asking for something that would lead to sin, in fact what I was asking for would be beneficial [I thought], God knew I wouldn’t be wise in my spending so through a process of learning to budget, He set me up for success: in his time, by Him and for Him.

“If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” James 1:5