When the going gets tough, no matter what problem we're facing, we reach out to our friends. We ask for advice and, in most cases, our friends know us well enough to help guide us in the right direction, and we are back on the right track. However, we all have those friends that are incapable of following our advice in return; they either choose to ignore our guidance or do the opposite. But they never fail to keep asking for our help.
I’d like to introduce you to the askholes of the world.
Askholes surround us on a daily basis. They are infamously known for asking for help, advice, guidance, etc., but will never actually take your words to heart. Instead, they will most likely ignore said advice or blatantly choose to do the complete opposite. But, like a boomerang, they always come back to ask you more questions about “what you think they should do” or “what you would do in their shoes.” Here are six specific askholes I’ve had to deal with in the past:
1. Angry Askhole
(Image Credit: Tumblr)
This is the person who chooses to resent you for your honesty. They come to you whenever they’re in a bad situation, often asking for help. You’re completely honest with them, stating that they probably made some wrong decisions recently and are going to need to own up to their actions. Seeing as this is not what they wanted to hear, they’ll either leave you with a sarcastic comment or an eye roll as they embark on their journey to ignore your advice.
2. Typical Bro Askhole
(Image Credit: Giphy)
Alright, my guy’s guys can empathize with me here. This is the one friend that always goes for the girl that’s no good for him. She has constantly rejected him and played him for a fool. When he comes to you for some guidance, you do the obvious: instruct him to stay far, far away from her as she is clearly only bad news. What does he do? Well… it’s safe to bet he left the party early to go home with her when you left him on his own for over a minute.
3. The Wannabe Scholar Askhole
(Image Credit: Buzzfeed)
As your good friend is handed back their third “C” of the semester, they are convinced they’re ready to make a change. “Deans List this semester” is their mantra. When they ask you for advice, you provide a reasonable list of things they should be doing to remain focused on their school work. This plan involves more studying and a lot less alcohol. They seem to process the information but after you see their party SnapChat story on a Tuesday night, it’s pretty clear they just pulled an askhole move.
4. The Attempting-To-Diet Askhole
(Image Credit: Giphy)
Post-Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show depression or pre-Spring Break: everyone is ready to get in shape. What better way to do that than eating right and working out? And so it begins. Everyone asking you questions to attempt to validate their diet regimes. "Okay, so I had a really great breakfast AND lunch, does that mean I can scarf down three slices of pizza?" No, it actually doesn't. You make one attempt at saving them from the calories that they swore off a day ago, but your mission fails and they disregard your advice anyway.
5. The Reckless Askhole
(Image Credit: Giphy)
Your reckless askhole friend was the one who probably introduced you to the phrase YOLO. This person is constantly wanting a thrill and continues to "live on the edge." So when they seek your approval and guidance to streak the quad naked, you probably hesitate while trying to think of something less.... illegal. But once they learn you're not for it, they're already in a half jog to the quad stripping off their clothing.
6. Needy Girl Askhole
(Image Credit: Assets.com)
This person probably has a tendency to disclose too much information to you on a daily basis. You know that she's dated Kevin, likes Jake, is texting Kyle, but decided to hangout with Jason last night. What do you have to say about it? "STOP. Stop right now. All of these guys suck and you should probably be finding a better way to spend your time." What does she do once she drills you with questions about what to do? The exact same thing she was doing before.
Askholes exist. We're always surrounded by people that have the tendency to ask for our guidance but eventually do their own thing. If you already know you're going to do something or go a certain way about it, WHY ASK? Leave the rest of us alone while you text the bad boy or go out on a Wednesday night. It's your life, and we're just trying to figure out our own.