Many, many men and women get married each year. It's no surprise that with every thought that runs through your mind, you're bound to have many of them in a couple of months before the "I Do" date. I know that I have and am still having them, two months out from the wedding. However, when that day comes, all of those thoughts are pushed aside as it becomes all about the person you're marrying. This even applies to people who aren't getting married yet but have found their person within their partner. I asked twenty people how they knew they found "the one," and I wasn't disappointed with the results.
1. "I wanted to be a better man for her"
I knew she was different because I wanted to be a better man for her. I told her I was never gonna treat her like my Girlfriend, I was gonna treat her like my Wife because that's what she makes me wanna be. A man who she can proudly marry. [She] and I are getting married this October 20th, 2018. Although I'll be the first to admit I don't 100% believe in "The One," we both keep working at it so I'm beyond grateful for that.
Male, 26, Florida
2. "He brought into our relationship the optimism that comes with one's first love"
it’s tricky to pinpoint it. For me, I started to become very logical and cynical after some failed relationships and this meant inevitably, every relationship I ended up in failed because romance and love aren’t always logical. I am my [future husband's] one and only relationship, he brought into our relationship the optimism that comes with one's first love. Optimism I had lost long before and optimism that defies all logic. We’ve watched each other grow and develop for five years now and I want to continue to do so until death do us part. There wasn’t a moment I can pinpoint but his optimism in all parts of life has become something I can’t imagine being without. He’s the one!
3. "I'm super stubborn and he accepted that part of me"
We met on Tinder and although it was an awkward start (us both being introverts and barely talking the first date) it worked for us. We moved in together after 3 months and I knew he was the one for me because I’m super stubborn and he accepted that part of me and never holds it against me. We love each other and always think logically when making decisions and we listen to one another when we have differences of opinions. I’ve learned and grown so much by being with him and I know I want to continue with this journey.
Female, 24, Connecticut
4. "That was the first time I really saw our future fall into place"
I knew that my [future husband] was the one for me the first time I stayed the night at his house. I didn't have any comfortable clothes to sleep in, and he spent probably fifteen minutes digging through a drawer full of shirts to find one. I asked why it was taking so long, and he said: "he was looking for the softest one". It was in that moment that something clicked, and I knew that someone who cared that much and was so thoughtful about something so small was going to be the most amazing partner to have for the rest of my life. At that point, we had already been dating for awhile so I knew that we got along and that I really cared about him, but that was the first time I really saw our future fall into place. I very rarely tell that story because it isn't super PG, but I love it so much and I get butterflies just thinking about it.
Female, 25, Wisconsin
5. "We've always had this level of understanding and sync to our relationship"
My [future husband] and I also met on Tinder; he had just moved across the country to get a grad degree from KU and I was finishing my last year of school. When we were coordinating our date, he kept asking me questions about how long I wanted to be out, if I'd like to meet him there or him pick me up, told me ahead of time he would like to pay for our entire date, and I teased him about all the questions and he told me he wanted me to feel safe by knowing the details so I could tell my roommates and feel carefree the entire night. The day after we met he came to an event I was volunteering at for our school to "see my world" and he told me as soon as he got home he deleted Tinder because he only wanted to pursue me. The combination of his thoughtfulness and confidence is what I think initially drove me to the relationship, but we've always had this level of understanding and sync to our relationship that I know I could never feel with someone else. I knew I loved him very early in our relationship because of how honest he is and now I don't understand how I ever had a life without him
Female, 23, Kansas
6. "I want her to know she's worth every effort"
Because from the moment we started talking I wanted to know her. Because through her I developed a passion for traveling and since visited 7 new countries. Because since her I wanted to go back to school and am now halfway done with a 3.6 GPA. Because I want to make her proud. I want her to know she's worth every effort. I wanted to match what she brings to the table. I wanted her to know that If ever I was lazy that loving her has ignited a drive in myself that I honestly never knew I really had. Loving her has made me confident. And since the first time I ever got to watch her sleep I remember thinking how precious she was. How much not she brings to her family and friends. And just how much I adore her. I want to be the one who keeps her safe and protects her best interests. I want to always be her friend before anything else and... I knew because I had strong feelings for "no reason" when I barely knew her. And we were friends so I'd date other people but always wondered where she was and if she was out on a date thinking of me... And on new years eve, she drunkenly called me but I knew.. I knew that while we were pretending not to be interested in one another that there was something there. I knew it the whole time.
Female, 30, California
7. "He honestly made me believe in soulmates"
We met on tinder and really hit it off with just messages and phone calls. When it came time to meet in person, I was so nervous but I was mentally preparing for it to be a bust because well, its Tinder. The date went amazing and each one after that just got better. He was so good with my family and friends and I had grown to love his family and friends too. From the start, it felt like I had known him forever and he honestly made me believe in soulmates. I knew he was the one, but the thing that really confirmed that for me was how he helped me during one of my worst times. I fell into one of the worst major depressions I've had very soon after meeting him and I was sure he'd leave. Not only did he stay, but he went above and beyond to help and pushed me to go back to my doctor. He loved me through it when I was not an easy person to love and made me smile when I thought I never would again. I felt safe, secure, and somewhat sane with him, more than anyone ever has before.
Female, 21, Kentucky
8. "He understood me and I appreciated that"
I knew he was the one because he went back inside the bar after knowing me for maybe an hour at most to get my wallet that I left at my seat. While his friend, the kid I was with didn’t bother. We just connected after that. Turned out his dad died of cancer a few years before we met and my mom was dying of cancer. We just clicked. He understood me and I appreciated that. My mom passed this last April and if it wasn’t for him I don't know what I would've done.
Female, 26, New Jersey
9. "He left me wondering all the time"
I knew he was the one because he left me wondering all the time. In the beginning, it was about the relationship and it getting going and then it was about the fun stuff and then about the real everyday stuff. Wondering if he liked me at the start. Wondering what our relationship would be like? Wondering what vacations would be like? Wondering what the mundane would be like shared together? Wondering what hard stuff we’d have to face and if we could do it together? Then, I got answers.... everything works with him. Everything. I wonder about my future with him, arm in arm, but I never have to wonder if he will leave, I never have to wonder if he’s a good man. We dream together. There is no shred of doubt about our relationship or about each other.... it just is, so we can confidently wonder or wander into the unknown together.
Female, 36, Pennsylvania
10. "He intends to marry me and I need to be OK with that"
I broke up with him while dating and then crawled back on my hands and knees. He took me back but stipulated that he intends to marry me and I need to be ok with that. I agreed. So from that point on, I knew he was “the one."
Female, 26, Silicon Valley, California
11. "I had never believed in love at first sight until that night"
We went to high school together. Never hung out or anything. 9 years after graduation he added me on Facebook and we went out to dinner to catch up. The moment we sat down at the table he smiled at me and I just had a feeling that he was the one. He made me laugh and smile. I hadn’t had a good feeling about a guy in a long time since I was a single mom and didn’t trust easily. He knew I had a son and he didn’t care and for the first time, I felt like this wasn’t just a guy saying all the right things because he felt like that was what I wanted to hear. I had never believed in love at first site till that night
Female, 28, Texas
12. "Something told me he was a good one"
We met on Tinder. My best friend committed suicide 4 months earlier and I went crazy. All my friends and boyfriend at the time walked out on me. I got on tinder to have someone/people to talk to. I hated the idea of tinder and refused to meet anyone in person. Then I made an exception for FH. Something told me he was a good one and we were inseparable. I later found out about and met his daughter (FH had been through some messed up stuff too). A year later I had to move away for medical school and told him I’d love for him to come but understood if he couldn’t. But we’d have to go our separate ways. He never hesitated and said he’d be joining me. Then he did despite a lot of backlash from friends and family toward us both. He’s always fought for me even when no one else would. Now we are working on an awesome future together that neither of us would’ve had alone. We get his daughter every summer and Christmas and we are complete. We literally saved each other.
Female, 24, Arizona
13. "He told my best friend that he wanted to date me but he would wait until I was available"
We met when we were 24. we met through my best friend. I was dating someone else at the time but we were friends. He told my best friend that he wanted to date me but he would wait until I was available...that was a long 5 months for him. Finally, he asked me over for dinner and he made FISH. I actually HATE fish and ate it because I didn’t want to upset him, I knew then and there. This was the man I was going to marry. He was adventurous, kind and loving and so smart. He asked if he could kiss me and we’ve been together 4 years! ( it probably helps that we were friends before so I knew him pretty well!) Today is exactly 4 months until our wedding and I can’t wait!
14. "A friend introduced us in high school and my heart actually skipped a beat"
A friend introduced us in [high school] and my heart actually skipped a beat, and his eyes took my breath away. Even at that young age, I knew he was the one. It wasn't just his looks that made me pause, but something deep inside, a feeling I had never had before. I was dating off & on his good friend. He didn't like how I was being treated so he asked me out ( he lost that friend for years) we dated for a year, it was magic. We were way to serious at the time and broke up because we couldn't handle the pressure of the physical journey. We each married someone else, but for 15 years we searched for one another. Finally, we were both divorced with children and we ran into each other at a playground our kids were at. We knew then we were still meant for each other. We still loved one another, that love never went away. Since we were at a different place in our lives we dated for two years then finally married. My life and heart have been full since then. In June we will celebrate our 25 anniversary. This is the 3rd of our 4 children that is getting married. I truly believe in love at first sight. I still love him more every day
Female, 58, Virginia
15. "He asked me out that week and ever since it's been incredible"
He was my boss at a restaurant. The first time I introduced myself, he was speechless! I had a bf at the time, who treated me like crap. I went to a work thing one night and had a friend/co-worker tell him how I felt. He asked me out that week and ever since it's been incredible.
Female, 28, Philadelphia
16. "He told me several times he wouldn't propose until he was ready and felt he could be a good husband"
I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him once I understood my life is and will continue to be exponentially better with him in it. He constantly challenges me and holds me accountable, pushing me to be the best version of myself. For the first time, I never felt there wasn't a disagreement or argument we couldn't overcome; I was confident we could work through anything life threw our way, together. Our core values align and I am confident he is going to make such an AMAZING dad someday. Lastly, he told me several times he wouldn't propose until he was ready and felt he could be a good husband. I patiently waited and am now so confident knowing that our marriage is something we BOTH look forward to and feel ready for!
Female, 26, Kansas City, MO
17. "He made me feel special and beautiful, both of which I struggle with"
For myself, I think I fell in love with Dakota slowly at first, and then all at once. We met the year after Mom died, and that is what brought us closer; he understands the pain of losing a parent. He made me feel special and beautiful, both of which I struggle with, and he was so adorably awkward I couldn't help but feel something for him!!
But I think the “all at once” was after our first kiss; we had a spark that has lasted through 4 years, one of which was spent apart.
He also tripped over a rug while holding me, but never let me hit the floor, so let's be honest, that was pretty important!
Female, 20, Kentucky
18. "He looks at me like I'm the sun"
My fiance and I have been together for almost four years. Every time I see him (we live in different towns and have to plan to see each other), he looks at me like I'm the sun. He laughs at all of my jokes and puts up with my ridiculous antics. He is so good with his cousins, which shows me he'll be good with our kids. He is a family man, a man of pride, and a man of his word (most of the time). He greets me each morning with a kiss and declares that he loves me every chance he gets. He's been set on me since about 3 months into our relationship and we grow to love each other more and more each day. We are getting married in two months and I honestly cannot wait!
Female, 21, Kentucky
BONUS 19. "I knew that even on the days she didn't, I would love her harder"
I think the first time I realized I was in love with Jen was when she had tagged along with me to my best friend's wedding. She was helping out the best that she could and she was sweet to everyone and it just made me realize that I really loved her. I loved her mind and soul and everything in between and I knew that even on the days she didn't, I would love her harder.
Male, 23, Kentucky
Marriage isn't always sunshine and happiness, but it's all of the good and bad things with the person you know you're meant to be with forever. I thank God that I have my perfect someone and I'm so thankful that so many other people also have their perfect someones.