Has anyone ever asked you if they can kiss you? Have you always just been kissed without being asked? Is just an assumption that you want to be kissed?

What if you asked if you can kiss the other person?

I realized last weekend that I had never been asked if I wanted to be kissed. It didn’t ruin the moment when the person did or make it awkward. If anything I found it even cuter that someone had taken what I actually wanted to do into consideration.

It is funny that we talk about consent so often but we don’t even ask about the small things. Asking for consent for something so small shouldn’t be the end of the world. If anything, you should start off with the small things and work your way up. Most of the time it is assumed that you want to be kissed, and then it just happens. We have devalued the worth of a kiss because now people just want more. The thing is, it’s not “just a kiss” to everyone.

We have drifted from putting no meaning into the small things and all emphasis on the big things. To some people, the small things are what makes them feel the most. It’s what builds them up to more. Why would we dismiss the small things as if they aren’t as important?

Not everyone wants to be kissed. There are things called “mixed signals.” What would be more embarrassing; asking someone if you can kiss them and them saying no, or kissing someone and being pushed away and possibly yelled at? I think the answer is pretty clear there. If you don’t ask because you know they will say no, don’t kiss them; but if you have a hunch that they might, just ask the question.

Asking if you can kiss someone is not weird. It’s been a week since I’ve been asked, and I keep thinking about how I had never been asked and how cute it was. I keep wondering why more people don’t do that. It’s not hard to ask someone if they actually want to do something with you.

Next time you really want to kiss someone, give it a shot. Just lean in and ask "can I kiss you?"