Going back to school after break is beyond exciting. You get to see all your friends again, escape your parents, and stay up as late as you want. Since the first week is “only syllabus week,” there shouldn’t be any school-related work for the first week, right? Wrong.

It’s actually so easy to fall behind during only the first week of the quarter. Between buying books, reading them, getting your notebooks together, and doing laundry you should’ve done before you got back to school, it’s super easy to get swamped week one. So, here’s a step-by-step tutorial on how to get lost in the dust as soon as you get back to school.

Step One: Enroll/waitlist way more classes than you need, and go to ALL of them during the first week. This’ll be fine because teachers definitely won’t expect you to apply yourself right off the bat, and if they do, you can drop them before you even have to worry about failing. This is also a great tactic if you’re worried that you’ll have too much free time this term.

Step Two: Wait as long as you possibly can to get your textbooks. This’ll ensure that you’ll have an extra chapter or two to catch up next week, but don’t worry, it’s only week one!

Step Three: Don’t stress over figuring out what your test/quiz schedule is like. They’re called “pop-quizzes” for a reason, guys.

Step Four: Go out/hang out with friends every night. It’s probably been a while, and there’s catching up to be done, so get out there and have fun! Those pesky syllabi can wait.

Step Five: Don’t worry about sleeping. Sleep is for the weak. You don’t need sleep, silly, your teachers won’t actually expect you to be awake during the lecture, don’t you worry. Plus, you can totally fit in a nap any time of the day you want, you have plenty more time to procrastinate.

I’m no professional, but I can vouch for these tactics from personal experience. If for some reason you don’t want to be like me and make life way hard during week two and three, maybe don’t follow these steps. Good luck this term, collegiates!