They say music has a way of healing. When we listen to a song, we not only listen to the lyrics being sung back to us, we feel them too. Some songs have a way of bringing us back to a time when we were the happiest we ever thought we could be. Other times, they can bring us back to a time where we felt our absolute lowest. Where we thought we would never come out of it.

I knew how it felt to be on both sides. In fact, this past year and a half has felt more like an emotional roller coaster to me than any other time in my life. I was flying so high and then I came crashing down. It felt like the parachute I was holding onto to guide me was taken off my back and I was left with no reassurance that I would make it.

I spent the last few months in a very dark period. I thought I would never get out. I spent my days pretending everything was okay. Lying to the ones close to me in my life because I didn't want them to see me as something fragile anymore. Someone who couldn't make it through one day without breaking down. Someone who had to remind herself to eat. Someone who spent weekends drinking her sorrows away and kissing strangers just to feel something.

But by some miracle, I've come out of it. And there's nothing more beautiful to hear than someone telling you how happy you've looked instead of constantly reassuring you that you'll be okay as you have tears forming in the back of your eyes.

I can't say it was one thing that got me through it, but when it comes to music it was simple. Ariana Grande's new album "thank u, next" truly got me out of the darkness I was in for a while and finally gave me the closure I never thought I would get on my last relationship.

When I first listened to it, it felt like it was written for me. I felt like she was observing my life the past year and a half and letting me know that when the hard times come I'll not only be able to get through it, but I'll come out stronger than I ever imagined I could be. What surprised me the most was that throughout her entire album I've never once skipped a song. I can't even say that about any Taylor Swift album.

To me, the album from beginning to end felt like the highs and lows of a tumultuous relationship. Where we see someone feeling completely out of herself and broken, to then being the best version of herself once she learns the only person she needed was herself. But this isn't a love story album or a breakup album. It's a wipe your tears and love yourself album. Every single song I could relate to and hit me so hard, but it was just what I needed to hear and listen to to get me where I am now. Which is the happiest I've ever been.

The album starts with the ethereal song "Imagine." A song that basically tells the story of a relationship that can and will never happen. One thing I tend to do in my relationships is set up scenarios in my head that only I can see that ultimately never work out. So, when she sings, "Love how my face fits so good in your neck. Why can't you imagine a world like that?" I saw it as this girl trying desperately to make something she envisioned come true but he can't see it happening.

Then comes "Needy" and "NASA" both good songs with two completely different concepts. But both I could relate to and I think anyone who's ever been in a relationship can. We all have those moments or times when we either want to be around our significant others or we just want some space and our alone time. When I was in a relationship I found myself a mix between needing to be with my ex every day and crying that I wouldn't see him that day. But towards the end, I was happy being without him for a few days. Lyrics like, "I'm obsessive and I love too hard. Good at overthinking with my heart. How you even think it got this far, this far?" and "I'd rather be alone tonight. You can say "I love you" through the phone tonight" are only some of the ones I could relate to in these two songs.

Again, both "Bloodline" and "Bad Idea" both talk about wanting to be with someone or a lot of people just to date around and mess around with too. They do say the best way to get over someone is to get under someone new. I'd be lying if I said I didn't use that tactic. I went on dates with guys and would truthfully only care about making out with them instead of hearing about their lives. Because I knew it wouldn't get to a second date. I did some things I would regret and kissed some people I regret. But that was when I would use people for some semblance of affection and for that I'm sorry.

"Makeup" is just one of those fun songs that reign true: the best sex is makeup sex. That's all I have to say about that one.

For me personally, I found the second half of the album to be the songs that related the most to me and how I've been feeling lately. "Fake Smile" could not have been more accurate to my state three months ago. Going out with friends and pretending to be alright when I just wanted to leave and cry. In all honesty, f*ck a fake smile. "Ghostin" is by far the best and most personal song on the entire album. I know that the song refers to something else, but for me when I hear it, it brings me back to when I was dealing so heavily with my mental health. I wouldn't let anyone in including my ex. Safe to say I breakdown every time I play it.

"In My Head" is the one song that can completely sum up my entire last relationship. I won't talk too much about it because it's become exhausting to repeat old past events. But the lyrics, "Painted a picture, I thought I knew you well. I got a habit of seeing what isn't there. Caught in the moment, tangled up in your sheets. When you broke my heart, I said you only wanted half of me" can give you some insight.

We've all heard the other two songs, "Thank u, next" and "7 Rings" played on repeat, myself included. Those two really got me back to find my confidence again. As for the last song, "Break Up With Your Girlfriend, I'm Bored," I know there's been some talk about this song not giving the most positive message and I agree. So I'll just say the song makes me just want to love myself and not be with someone right now because I don't need anyone at the moment.

Overall, this album helped me rediscover the girl I never knew I needed to be. The girl who doesn't care what anyone thinks anymore about her. The girl who wears her head held high. Who can walk in any room and not needing to cling onto someone for support.

So, to the boy I thought I needed and the guys that got me through to get to this place...

thank u, next.