I want to show that friendship was a primary focus of Jesus’ understanding of discipleship. If I can do this I will be able to show the basic need for friendship in the life of a disciple; A person is then able to enter into friendship with God. Jesus came not only to redeem man to God, but also man to each other, so that by each other we may know Him more deeply. To do a complete study of what Jesus taught us about friendship would take the rest of this paper. I will briefly address three areas in which Jesus saw friendship as a need.

First, Jesus defended that friendships should be helpful to our growth. Jesus in John 15 said, “you are my friends if you do what I command.” One of Jesus’ most common commands was to “go and sin no more!” This seems that Jesus had in mind to take His friends from one state of morality to a more improved state of virtue. However, this may not be enough to conclude Jesus thought friends were to help us grow in virtue. As we turn to wisdom literature in the Old Testament we find an example of how we ought to grow in friendships that Jesus would have been well aware of. In Proverbs, for example we read that one who is wise will seek out wise friends for a companion of fools will come to ruin. Jesus would have been aware of this and so prayed that the father would give His followers unity as they pursued wisdom. The followers of Jesus then would in wisdom see growth in each other. As it is written “My intercessor is my friend” the one who intercedes that another would grow and develop in character is a friend. We need friendships because they are helpful to our growth. This is why Jesus prays for us to have unity in John 17 and promises to us a “helper” because He knew growth in a person happens in multiplicity. “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.” Again from Ecclesiastes we can draw that friendships are helpful in Jesus’ understanding of Discipleship because it allows us to link arms that when we may fall, we are able to get up and grow from it.

Secondly, Jesus teaches us that friendships should be inclusive. Jesus’ teaching about inclusivity in friendship centers around the greek buzzword “Agape” meaning; unconditional love. This love was meant to be inclusive for that love was not given to only those you would expect to receive love, but also those that didn’t expect love or even deserve love. “If you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them.” Jesus is instead saying to love even our enemies including them into our community of friends. As Thomas Crisp writes, “This is the essence of the love command: seek your enemy's inclusion in the shalom community, which means, seek his inclusion in a community of love and friendship.” Jesus teaches us to not put a limit on those we should call our friends.

When His mother and brother come to Him to visit him they found Him unwilling to see them. Instead He used the opportunity to share more about His inclusive mindset.

Jesus third teaching about friendship was that it ought to seek out the other. Jesus is the truest friend that any of us will ever have. Why is this? Jesus has made a commitment to not seek out His own glory, but to seek out our good. We know this when Paul writes “He humbled himself to the point of death.” A friend lays down their life for the other that they might flourish. Jesus did this perfectly. Jesus laid down His live as He sought us out. In the same way He commands us “love one another as I have loved you.” A friend who loves in the same way Christ has will seek out their ally in all circumstances, as we are told in proverbs “a friend loves at all times.”

Jesus in His teachings on friendship affirms that it is a need if we are to follow Him. Friendship as defined by Jesus will help us to grow into better people, would be inclusive, and would seek out the other as of first importance. “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” Friendship is the vehicle that God uses to drive us to a deeper relationship with Him. Because as we become sharpened my other believers we become more able to be useful disciples as well. “Friendship is a gift that begins and ends with God.” As we learn more about friendship it is important to remember the only way we can engage at all is because of Grace.

Our Friendships should be helpful to growth;

Pro 18:24 "One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer then a brother."

Pro 13:20 "Walk with wise and become wise."

Job 16:20-21 "My intercessor is my friend."

Ecc 4:9-10 "Two are better then one, because they have good return for their labor."

Our Friendships should be inclusive;

John 19:27 "Here is your mother"

Luke 8:21 "These are my mother and brothers"

Matthew 5:44 "Pray for those who persecute you; Love your neighbor as yourself"

Our Friendships should seek the other;

John 15:12-15 "My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you."

Pro 17:17 "A friend loves at all times"

Pro 27:17 "Iron sharpens Iron"

Phil 2 "Christ came in humility to serve not to be served"

“Friendship is a gift that begins and ends with God.”