When you look at your Instagram profile page, what do you see? Is it really you? Like, all of you? It sure seems like you lead an extremely happy and adventurous life if you think that that page describes you to a T. If it does, hey more power to you, fam. For the rest of us, myself included, my profile does not encompass all the ups and downs I have had to deal with throughout my life.

I know, your immediate reaction is, well, why would you want to show people all the L’s you have taken or the lazy days at home? Besides, who would want to document every second of every day? We have come to a point in time where many people attempt to uphold two identities: one online and on off.

We try to think that each post about the latest party we attended or the latest vacation we traveled to offers a peek into who we are, but the reality of it is, for a lot of people it does not. In fact, each time the tweet button is pressed or the share button is clicked, these people are continuing to build an alternate identity online curated for the most likes, retweets, favorites, and shares. We act like social media was created as an extension for the conversations that we otherwise could not have in person if it was not for the internet.

The truth is that the modern day form of communication over the internet is to broadcast ourselves to a large audience. Then, our approval rating becomes instantly quantified by the number of likes on our Instagram posts, the number of views on our Snap stories, and the number of likes on our Facebook updates.

The problem is, it is very easy to get attached to these numbers as the only way to gauge our overall self-worth and value to the people in our life. This is why we make sure the filter is just right. This is why we make sure the caption is just right. This is why we make sure the day looked like the most incredible experience we have lived through. And for what? The highest approval rating. You may be thinking well how is that different from everyday conversation. The fact of the matter is, nothing can replace face-to-face contact.

In reality, you cannot mull over your next sentence, your next word, or your next facial expression for fifteen minutes in an effort to get the best response or reaction from the person you are talking with. It is unnatural. Much like a comedian performs jokes in an effort to get the most laughs out of the audience, posting on social media is performing in an effort to get the most positive reaction. In a sense, we are putting on a show. The problem is we act as though this show is really who we are on a day-to-day moment-to-moment basis.

These curated, mulled over posts are nothing more than an identity we choose to have that we think most people will like. The problem is we might not like that identity ourselves. We might catch ourselves thinking why did we not reach one hundred likes? Is there something wrong with me? Maybe we need to change to up our like game? It can be hard enough to manage our personalities in real life, so why add a new, online one to the mix?

What are we afraid of? Why does getting only ten like in two minutes worry us? We need to stop posting for other people and start posting for our true, authentic selves because the fact of the matter is, the only like that matters is the one you give yourself.