You probably clicked on this article because the title was thought provoking. Maybe you’ve been having doubts about your significant other and are curious to see if this article will confirm or deny this thought. Or perhaps you’re happy and want some insight into staying happy.

However, this article isn’t totally about romantic relationships. It’s about asking the question: are you being loved in the way it takes you to feel loved?

I listened to Dr. Gary Chapman’s The Five Love Languages and it completely changed how I view relationships of all types.

Dr. Chapman found that all issues in all relationships can be sourced back to five categories of showing love.

The categories are: words of affirmation, physical touch, quality time, acts of service, and gifts.

Every person has one of these primary love languages. Knowing your love language and another’s love language can change a relationship significantly.

Dr. Chapman explains how everyone has what’s called a love tank. When the love tank is full, you’re happy and content with the love you’re receiving. When the love tank is running on empty, like a car runs on gas, everything starts to slow and break down. No one wants to run on an empty love tank.

Some couples truly love each other but have no idea what the other person needs to feel loved. When you use the other person’s love language, the emotional tank is full.

Like I said, this book is a game changer for relationships. Dr. Chapman is a genius because the books makes perfect sense. How can something so obvious as loving a person in way they can understand, like a foreign language, be so hidden from the minds of so many?

Here are the five love languages and what they mean:

Words of affirmation, my personal love language, are based off of the use of positive and loving language. When someone with words of affirmation is their primary love language feel loved is when someone verbalizes their love or their praise.

Physical touch is a love language some misunderstand. It’s not only sexual touch, but the small touches such as holding a hand or touching a shoulder that make certain people feel loved.

Quality time doesn’t mean sitting on the couch and watching a movie. For people with quality time as their love language, they enjoy talking and looking at their partner.

Acts of service is a love language I didn’t really connect to as a young person, but I can see how this would be very important to a couple that lives together. People with acts of service as their primary love language, really appreciates it when their partner is thoughtful and does a chore for them or does something to benefit them.

Finally, giving gifts is the final love language. People with this as their primary love language appreciate gifts as tokens of love. They appreciate the fact that their partner was thinking of them when making or buying something.

Now, after knowing the basic knowledge of the five love languages, you want to know what yours is and how to identify other’s love languages.

I also want to add in that love languages don’t just apply to romantic relationships, they apply to all relationships: parent and children, friends, etc. Sometimes how you were raised dictates your primary love language. If a child receives words of affirmation their whole life from their parents, it’s natural that they would want to acquire that kind of love from their partner too. This is a great indictor of discovering the primary love language of others.

The other fool- proof way to discover a primary language of someone else or even yourself is to notice how you or that person gives love. Like I said, my primary love language is words of affirmation-- therefore, I give a lot of praise to my partner because that’s the primary language I know.

You can discover your primary love language, by taking this quiz on Dr. Chapman’s site. Try taking it and find out the way you best give and take love. The link is here.

Finally, learning and practicing other’s primary love languages can save and strengthen relationships. The only way to keep your partner’s love tank full is to fill it with their kind of love. Discover their primary love language and use it often. The ideas in this book are a game changer when it comes to relationships.

Thank you Dr. Chapman. For teaching me how myself and others work when it comes to love. This information can help any relationship if someone wills it.