Have you ever been afraid to go somewhere alone? That used to be me. In my first two years of college, I would always study at home, eat at home, shop online, and do pretty much everything that I could not get a friend to join in on, alone. The thought of being 'that person' who eats at a restaurant alone scared me. But there were so many more things that I wanted to do, but was afraid of doing them by myself. There was always a coffee shop I would see someone studying in and think to myself how brave they were for going somewhere alone and feeling comfortable. I think that the fear for me was that I was going to receive judgment which would stop me from actually meeting new friends because I would be labeled as a weirdo. I got over that fear slowly but surely by using baby steps.
Finally, I started branching out by going to study alone in the library, and eating alone in my college's student union, noticing how many people were doing the same thing. I was also tired of having to track down my friends to do things with me who also have such busy schedules. Eventually, I started eating and enjoying drinks by myself at the bar in restaurants instead of taking my food to go and grabbing a six-pack or bottle of wine on the way home. I noticed that it was so much easier for me to speak to people once I realized that they were not judging me by viewing me as 'lonely' or 'desperate' for coming to a social setting alone. Instead, I think it is almost easier to do things alone because you realize that you are more independent than you thought. Meeting new friends in college can sometimes be a challenge for introverts and extroverts alike, but when you choose to branch out of your comfort zone self confidence can flourish. It was this way that I met so many new friends at my neighborhood bar. Everyone needs to feel comfortable enough to vacate their local hotspots alone without feeling awkward.
Aloneness is the feeling of being complete when self love overpowers the feelings of loneliness. No one is needed but of course, welcomed.
