I used to beat myself up over wanting to hide away and curl up with a book at my own birthday parties. All my friends are outside, jumping on my trampoline, and 8-year-old me just wants to be alone! My parents tell me I used to cry or beg to go home at my friends' birthday parties and refuse to participate in the take-down of the pinata. Some of this was due to my introversion, and also partly due to my shyness and anxiety. Most of the time, shyness and introversion go hand-in-hand, but sometimes one doesn't equal the other.
Introverts and extroverts are just wired differently, and this shouldn't be a problem. While introverts crave a quiet space, extroverts feel energized with others around. Each person should evaluate their own needs as an introvert or extrovert and cater to them. Introverts that push themselves to be social to a point of exhaustion are just running themselves into the ground and should consider what makes them happiest. Staying at home and inviting one friend over as opposed to throwing a larger get-together is really nothing to be ashamed of; if you crave an intimate space to not have the life drained out of you, don't neglect your personal needs.
The misconception that one personality type is better than the other is also something that bothers me. Just because someone prefers to be by themselves doesn't mean they are weird or should conform to society by becoming more outgoing. Introverts are too often shamed for needing alone time (from personal experience), and it's uncomfortable to be constantly told that wanting to be by yourself is shameful.
As a young introvert, I absolutely despised being assigned to a group project in school. When the teacher says the dreaded words, most students groan in response. But for introverts, it can really be an annoyance. We tend to think deeply about things before saying them, and we also tend to work better alone. The group setting just isn't the right place for every student to be able to work successfully.
Often times, extroverts' ideas are the ones that are used in group assignments because they're the ones who voice their thoughts, sometimes without taking time to think them completely through. Introverts may not voice themselves as loudly as extroverts do, but they have plenty of good ideas, too. In a group setting, it might be a good idea to ask the quiet person what they think. Teachers should also consider not making group work mandatory for every student. It can cause distress and frustration to kids who shine on their own.
Writing this from an introvert perspective may seem biased, but I'm definitely not hating on extroverts. We are just different in the ways we think and recharge after a long day, and that's totally fine! Be mindful of the people in your life. Don't forget to ask yourself what you need to feel happy, too.
