life with apraxia

Yes, I May Have Apraxia But No, It Doesn't Define Me

I am just like you...

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For those of you who have been following my journey for a little while on here, you know that I typically write about what's on my mind about love, technology, and sometimes about my favorite shows. But today right at this moment I decided to dig a little deeper into part of who I am. I hope this article inspires you to never be afraid to be yourself and to allow others the time that they need to get stuff done.

I think by now you are probably wondering what in the sam heck apraxia is and that is totally OK for you to ask. Apraxia is essentially the inability to carry out certain tasks as others can. For me, I did struggle with saying certain words growing up, so I did have to take speech classes to correct it. But what I really struggled more with was with driving and dancing. Driving for me was always a challenge because I always had to go over stuff more than others and I sometimes felt like I had no clue what I was doing when taking the tests even though I had practiced over and over until I thought I had it. It is super frustrating to know that it was right at my fingertips but I just couldn't quite get it at first.

I eventually was able to get more driving experience after I got my license but it was the dancing that took more out of me because I had to overlearn dance steps when it came to being in musicals in high school. That's when apraxia took over more and it was a struggle bus trying to get on the same page as my cast members in the shows. I remember just feeling really down about not being able to get the steps right, but I also remember picking myself back up after and asking for help to get a little more practice. My first show was "Annie" my freshman year of high school and toward the end of one of the shows I was actually awarded MVC (most valuable chorus member), and that truly meant a lot to me at the time because all throughout I thought my work with my dancing was a hot mess.

Over the years I have learned that my hot mess self can handle anything it comes across. It just may mean that certain things that I do may need more time and dedication. It doesn't mean that I can't do certain things, it just means that I may not be as quick to complete a task like a friend of mine would. Every day I am learning and growing with my apraxia and I know that there are many more challenges to face with my family and friends of course.

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Being Sick In College Is A Real Struggle

Being sick in college is definitely not as fun as having a sick day in middle school or high school.

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Something that I have had to deal with multiple times these past two semesters is being sick while in school. It can be a real pain especially depending on what type of sickness it is. I have had tonsillitis, mono, and I'm pretty sure I also had the flu.

Being at school and away from home can make being sick worse because there is nobody to take of you such as your parents. Another thing is having to make the decision to get the rest that your body needs in order to feel better or staying on top of your assignments to avoid falling behind. My parents will always tell me to get a good night's sleep so my body can feel better the next day. However, sometimes I will feel more stress if my work isn't getting done and I feel like I'm falling behind and leaving things to get done in the last minute.

Currently, I am sick now and the past few days haven't been easy, but I still attended all my classes so I wouldn't miss any material or assignments that were given. I usually end up feeling the worst at night when trying to fall asleep, and by that time the doctors are not present at the student health center. Even though my health is important I usually don't like taking too much time out of my day to go to the health center to see a doctor. Some days I don't really have much free time before the evening.

I don't believe I have been over-exerting myself, but I don't want to just stay in my bed all day and sleep, even though that may be what is best for me. Most professors will be understanding if I email them and provide them a doctor's note as well, but I also just got back from a conference where I had to miss two days of classes next week.

I have been trying to keep hydrated so that way my body can fight the sickness. Also, I have been told if you stay hydrated you can flush the virus out of your body quicker.

Eating can also be a pain when you have a sore throat, for the past couple of days I have tried to have some soup in order to help. Most meals I would have to force myself to eat something of substance in order to give my body some type of energy in order to get through the day. It's also never fun not being able to breathe out of your nostrils. If it wasn't my nose being stuffed, then it would be constantly runny so there was no winning that battle.

Looking back, I probably should have done a bit more work over spring break in order to get ahead in the case that something like this would happen. I wanted my break to be exactly that, a break. After not being home for a few months I just wanted some time off to relax.

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