"What do you want for the holidays?" - the question of the year. It stumps kids, escapes adults and fascinates all as they envision what material object could, perhaps, fill the void of longing in their hearts. Commercials capitalize on this confusion – maybe they want a car? A television? Probably a laptop! Clothes? Even towels?

Stores throw sale signs in your faces, slashing prices on objects that you couldn’t even imagine anyone wanting to buy. Flashing lights beckon consumers in, where overcaffeinated sales employees offer coupons and shopping bags. Everybody and their mother, it seems, is at the mall in their holiday sweaters, swiping credit cards and lugging around backbreaking loads of bags from the other stores, their faces set and ready. It’s almost a game – somewhere, in this building, there is something that will light up the kids’ faces and make them ecstatic. Where and what is it?

The truth is, there is no physical object that can completely satisfy your heart. There is nothing that can counteract the stress of the past year or make you truly happy. Nothing will bring world peace or make the little ones stop fighting with each other. As unfortunate as it is to say, there is no object that will guarantee a safe, steady future for the family, no way to bring back missed loved ones, no way to stop time and let you catch up. This, more than anything, is what everybody wants… it’s just that such an object does not exist. And it probably never will.

Great, that was helpful. Not. So what do I get everyone??

The truth is that the holidays were never meant to be about lining up outside of Target, a quarter mile from the actual door (where the police are lined up outside in case a fight breaks out) or about late-night, bleary-eyed gift wrapping sessions the night before, or about shoving the groaning, complaining kids into the back of the packed car with a video player for the eight-hour drive to grandma’s. They were never meant to be an obligation or a chore. The literal definition of “holiday” is: a day of festivity and recreation where no work is done.

So why is nobody having fun? Why are we stressing about buying everyone something material that they probably won’t use and missing out on one of the most beautiful, magical times of the year?

Get people an experience. Take your best friend to breakfast and linger an extra few minutes to catch up on her life. Take your little brother to the park and play football with him for an hour. Make dinner for your parents and snuggle up on the couch with your partner and some hot chocolate and binge-watch your Netflix list. Buy concert tickets with your friends. Go enjoy the holiday spirit – go to tree lightings, drive around and look at lights or even go to the Botanical Garden or Six Flags.

Give someone the most valuable gift that there is – your time, your company and your love. Anyone can buy your girlfriend that lipstick set from Sephora, but not anyone can make the same memories. You will stand out, you will have that unique gift and it will keep on giving to you both because you will remember whatever time you spent together and always have a happy, warm feeling.

There’s a whole world out there, a whole holiday season, and they’re so much more fun with the people you love. Take a deep breath. Happy giving.