As we say goodbye to finals (thank God), we say goodbye to so much more. We say goodbye to our college towns, to our homes away from home, and to our friends, who will scatter all across the country for the next three months.
Of course, with every "goodbye" comes many more "hellos." We are saying hello to summer. We are saying hello to three months of relaxation. We are saying hello to tan lines and weekends at the lake.
Sounds pretty good, right?
Except I am still unbelievably terrified.
Throughout my past two years at the University of Kansas, I have found a new home. I have found a place that provides a sense of safety and wellbeing. I have found a place where I can not only be myself, but be successful at it as well.
I have found a group of friends who complete me. Old and new, these goofballs make me who I am. In May, we scatter across the country, and are lucky for any spare time the both of us have to Facetime in the upcoming months.
What used to be a time to relax and goof off is now the most apprehensive time of year for me.
While I am thrilled to not be in class or in the library doing homework, I am being overworked, underpaid, and underrewarded all summer long. This summer, I will be working two jobs in order to be able to furnish my apartment in the fall. My closest friend from college will live an hour away and I will be lucky to see her, assuming we both have the same days off once in a while. My boyfriend will be 800 miles away and I will constantly be missing him and wishing we could take on the season together. Since when did summer turn in to such a conflict-filled season?
Did I mention that for three whole months, I am risking the possibility of seeing people that I went to high school with in public?
The thought of this is horrifying in and of itself.
I think the hardest part about summer is the realization that I am growing up. I can no longer spend six carefree days a week at the pool, sleep until noon, or watch TV in my pajamas until 2 a.m.
Instead, summer is a constant reminder of what lies ahead of me after college. Summer is a reminder that I will be working a real life adult job for 40 hours a week. It is a reminder that after graduation, my friends and I will be taking on life more or less alone, no longer living down the hall from each other. Summer is a very real wake-up call that I am no longer the carefree kid I once was.
With this apprehension comes some excitement. I am excited to spend time with my family (and my dogs) and to not be spending every extra second I have studying for tests. Although I am not sure how I feel about the upcoming months, I do know that with my new “adult-ish” life comes the ability to handle anything thrown at me, no matter what.
