To The People Who Made Me The Person I Am Today

To The People Who Made Me The Person I Am Today

All the things I don't want you to forget while I'm away

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Dear Mom,

Yes, I do miss you. It's hard being so many miles away from my best friend. Not hearing "you and your mom are twins," once a week gets a little weird. I miss our lunch dates and I miss being able to yell "mom!" a million times from upstairs before you can hear me.

Being at school is hard, especially being so far away from you.

I try not to let my anxiety get the best of me but when it does I have to be ok with a phone call from you to calm me down. And that's definitely harder than you coming to talk to me in person. I remember when I was younger I would get annoyed when you would call every hour asking me what I was doing.

But now the roles are reversed and I even call to tell you I can't find my favorite leggings. Knowing there's no way you could possibly know where they are.

I'm learning to do everything on my own now. No, my room isn't clean all the time and sometimes I forget about my laundry that was in the washer. Since I'm growing up I know that sometimes you think I don't need you anymore, and sometimes I might act like it. But you'll forever be my go-to person.

Dear Dad,

I can't tell you how much I miss watching football with you every Sunday. Sunday's are now taken up by mostly homework and little football.

Even though you hate when I call and the first thing I say is "there's something wrong with my car," I know you love it at the same time.

Being this far away it teaches you a lot about what you miss from home. I miss our inside jokes cause let's be honest when I try to explain them to my friends they look at me like I have multiple heads. It's different getting advice from a phone call rather than you coming to my room to help me through my problems but it'll have to do for now.

Even though you get mad at me when I don't always answer my phone when you call you to have to remember that I'm busy too and it isn't on purpose.

I always look back on the times when I was little and we would hang out every day. Although that's not the case anymore (and I know we both wish it was) I'll forever be your little girl and our bond is unbreakable.

But most importantly, someday I'm going to look back and be able to say these were the best years of my life. You are the ones that made that possible.

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To The Dad Who Didn't Want Me, It's Mutual Now

Thank you for leaving me because I am happy.
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Thank you, for leaving me.

Thank you, for leaving me when I was little.

Thank you, for not putting me through the pain of watching you leave.

Thank you, for leaving me with the best mother a daughter could ask for.

I no longer resent you. I no longer feel anger towards you. I wondered for so long who I was. I thought that because I didn't know half of my blood that I was somehow missing something. I thought that who you were defined me. I was wrong. I am my own person. I am strong and capable and you have nothing to do with that. So thank you for leaving me.

In my most vulnerable of times, I struggled with the fact that you didn't want me. You could have watched me grow into the person that I have become, but you didn't. You had a choice to be in my life. I thought that the fact that my own father didn't want me spoke to my own worth. I was wrong. I am so worthy. I am deserving, and you have nothing to do with that. So thank you for leaving me.

You have missed so much. From my first dance to my first day of college, and you'll continue to miss everything. You won't see me graduate, you won't walk me down the aisle, and you won't get to see me follow my dreams. You'll never get that back, but I don't care anymore. What I have been through, and the struggles that I have faced have brought me to where I am today, and I can't complain. I go to a beautiful school, I have the best of friends, I have an amazing family, and that's all I really need.

Whoever you are, I hope you read this. I hope you understand that you have missed out on one of the best opportunities in your life. I could've been your daughter. I could have been your little girl. Now I am neither, nor will I ever be.

So thank you for leaving me because I am happy. I understand my self-worth, and I understand that you don't define me. You have made me stronger. You have helped make me who I am without even knowing it.

So, thank you for leaving me.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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To The Dad Who Works Out Of Town, Thank You For All You Do

Thank you for everything you do, I wouldn't have the things I do if it wasn't for you.

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I want to say Thank you. Thank you for sleeping in hotel beds every night. Thank you for eating sandwiches some days for lunch while I ate my pizza Lunchables in my brand new Hello Kitty lunchbox.

Thank you for taking your truck with no cruise control some weeks for work because I wanted to drive your car. I'm sure driving for four hours straight with your foot on the pedal was pretty boring. Thank you for filling up the car before you let me drive it as well.

Thank you for waking up at 3 and 4 a.m. to head out of town to work and being so quiet while doing so. Thank you for adding lunch money to my account while you're over 100 miles away. Thank you for working sometimes 10-14 days straight without a day off. I can never thank you enough for what you do.

Thank you for filling my truck up in high school every Sunday night before you left for work. Thank you for spending your lunch breaks calling and making orthodontist appointments for me. Thank you for taking days off work to take me to some of these appointments. Thank you for always fitting me in.

While being out of town can make you feel like an absent parent, I promise you are not that. You always make sure to call me during the week. If I'm sick and didn't go to class, you call and check on me. You even call and remind me of things I need to get done like returning my rental book.

If it wasn't for you working out of town, I wouldn't have the luxuries I do now. I want you to know I am thankful for you.

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