As much as I love a lot of aspects of Maryland, growing up, I always told myself I would leave as soon as I got the chance. I’ve always considered myself to be pretty independent, and the idea of living away from home and exploring new territory seemed like a dream for a while. Although I definitely love living in Pittsburgh during the year and going to school a few hours away from home, after experiencing more distance, I’ve also grown to look forward to coming home and revisiting experiences which hold powerful childhood associations and memories for me.

When I was a bit younger, mainly in middle and high school, like most other teenagers, I always wanted an excuse to get out of the house. I clashed with my parents a fair amount, and the idea of family time was sometimes annoying. Getting my license satisfied an exciting and rebellious side to me; it meant more freedom to venture alone, when I wanted, where I wanted.

I had done some traveling at that point, but I was still searching for more opportunities to leave. Even the littlest trips away felt like a big deal, and I realized just how much the idea of creating distance for myself meant to me.

Pitt has presented its fresh and unfamiliar twists in my life, allowing me to hone and discover my main interests in an enriching, lively environment. I’ve developed a lot of the skills that come with learning to cook and budget and living on your own, and while it gets intimidating at times, I’m pretty proud of how much I’ve been able to accomplish, without anyone holding my hand.

Originally, my main incentive to go to Pittsburgh was that I needed space to work and learn in a place that was mine––a feeling that came from a stubborn itch to invent myself away from home. After spending two years at Pitt, four hours away from my childhood home, on particularly hard days, I actually find myself wishing I was back in Maryland, eating Chinese takeout with my parents, or reading at one of my favorite coffee shops in the historic district near my neighborhood.

There’s something simple and relaxed about the idea of returning to a familiar place. When I finally come home for breaks, visiting my favorite spots in the area is one of the first things I do. Though renovations have been made to restaurants I used to frequent, and certain elements of my neighborhood feel more modern and foreign compared to what I grew up with, I never fail to channel nostalgic feelings when I’m home, visiting my regular spots.

I think I’m able to analyze things I love from a more distant perspective now, since I’ve spent some time away. I no longer see my hometown as an extension of me, but rather a very familiar and deeply personal experience, while somewhat farther away from me now, which remains a powerful influence over what I love and how I’ve come to understand myself.