“Life’s better with a little mystery.”
Think about those words for a second. Maybe you’ve heard them, seen them, or even adopted them into your array of ideas to live by. Regardless of your present (dis)agreement, this idea of power through mystery is one that provides an innocent portrayal of our not-so-innocent society. Through such self-deprecating sayings, we’ve convinced ourselves that nothing is more empowering/attractive/appealing than being mysterious, that there is some lingering love and coolness in controlling the mystique. The thought doesn’t seem so bad until you’ve faced the devastating realization that the mystery itself is far better than any result found once the mystery has been solved. You’ve made the lie out to be greater than the real thing. Be honest with yourself though: what is so great about that? Is there anything great about that? How on earth does it feel good to know that someone’s idea of you could be greater than the reality of you?
First of all, let’s get something straight. An idea can never, and will never, be greater than a reality. An idea is all that it is, and an idea is all that it will ever be. A reality, on the other hand, possesses real potential as it is a series of surprises waiting to happen. Some will be exciting, some will be fanciful and freeing, but some of these surprises will be hard. They may naturally bring out your bad parts, the parts you would rather not let everyone know exist. The undeniable truth is that it is not up to you to hide the bad behind a curtain of falsehood.
It’s actually OK to have the hard stuff. If it wasn’t, we would all be in trouble because there's not one person on this earth who hasn’t had a bad day. Contrary to popular belief, the bad days and weaknesses themselves do not have the power to destroy anything, unless they’re given permission. All of the power, rather, resides in our handling of weakness, proving to be the true testament of strength.
I had a friend once who innocently believed that he was made stronger through his ability to remain misunderstood. No one knew what was inside of his heart, if there was anything in there — and they never would. He liked it that way (or so he said), almost as if it were a game that only he could win. The funny thing is, I don’t think he has ever been alone in his thinking here. Though he may be more open and vocal about it, his idea of strength from shadows is widely shared.
“Your problems aren't pretty,” says the world. “Stop bothering everyone with your issues; they’re your issues, it’s your responsibility to cover them up.”
We mutually acknowledge our ugliness, yet we mutually agree that hiding it is the best solution. As long as you appear to be authentic, as long as you appear to be known, you are. It’s heartbreaking to think that society today is built on a such a skewed foundation. We feed our own fear of loneliness and prolong a future of isolated struggling. This flaw’s unfortunate gravity could end up as the catalyst of our downfall. It is pathetic. We are pathetic. We know better.
It’s important for me to note that my aforementioned friend will always double as one of my favorite people. He’s the ultimate unforgettable paradox, and to be quite honest, I’m not sure he’s even realized that yet. Joke’s on him for so strongly advocating the hiding of weaknesses that he's ended up revealing and admitting the presence of his own. What I mean to say is that he’s been wrong all along. When he experiences strength, it’s unintentionally coming from a place of authentic honesty regarding the “absence” of his weaknesses, not his unimpressive ability to keep everyone in the dark about the very real presence of those weaknesses. And the same goes for the rest of the world.
Who are you hiding behind the curtain? You’re bound to be exhausted. I know living in the shadows is pretty tiring. Perhaps it’s time to let yourself rest and try something new. Admit your failures. Release your hold on the darkness, show your whole self to the world. Destroy that curtain covering the reality of who you are and where you are. Fall apart, for God’s sake! Do it miserably, do it dramatically, do it publicly, do it privately, do it messily, do it neatly, do it embarrassingly. It doesn't matter how you’re doing it because just the mere fact that you are doing it proves to be the most honest measure your life has taken in a while. Falling apart when necessary is the most graceful way for us to demonstrate the beauty of humanity. We should take pride in our unique ability to demonstrate such an intimate, personal thing.
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson
So, grow,
change, learn, feel... Regardless of how messed up you think you may be.
- Someone with an acquired taste for truth
