It took me some time to become appreciative for my loved ones and the sacrifices they've made throughout my existence because if it weren't for them, I wouldn't be pursuing the life I am. For this, I am sorry for not treasuring your dedication sooner.

As a kid, I didn't recognize the sacrifices that my parents endured to grant me a life full of happiness. I didn't appreciate the times my mom took time to make home-cooked meals, drive me to soccer practice, or attend my athletic events when she probably had piles of work to complete. Being a mother was her top priority and she displayed her dedication to my siblings and I for the 19 years I have been alive. I remember specifically before I turned 16 and was unable to drive, my dad would be the one to drive from work to pick me up at school when I was ill. That was just another little thing I didn't thank him for, and knew I should have. When Christmas came around, I remember generating a list that filled a sheet of paper from top to bottom, careless about the price tags on each of them. They did everything in their power to make sure I was receiving the best Christmas for what they had. From giving me money for sugary sweets at the baseball park to purchasing the newest barbie doll for me when I was a little girl, I didn't understand these little acts of affection until turned 17 years old.

Looking back, I remember the mistakes I made in high school that disappointed you. Staying out late, hanging out with the wrong crowd, or the cruel words I said when I was upset. I am sorry for the countless times I have emotionally hurt you and have made you believe you were a bad parent, when really I was drowning in my own disappointment and taking it out on you. I am finally connecting the dots, realizing you created a curfew for my own safety and your reassurance that I am okay. You disapproved of my friends because I wasn't my true self around them. It's upsetting that I didn't appreciate your care and affection at an earlier time because I'm sure I wouldn't have caused you the anger I did as a young kid. There will come a point in time that I'll become my own parent, and I'm glad I have the both of you to look up to.

What no one prepares you for is witnessing your parents and grandparents age. They weren't kidding when they said life flies by pretty quick. I wish the 19 years since I was born didn't wisp away so quickly, and 20 is about to be here at a faster pace. The last thing I want to do is disappoint you which is why I've given my all in college and plan to do so after I graduate in 3 years. I am regretting the times I didn't just sit down with either of you and asked how you were or how your day went, instead I strolled right past into my room with ignorance until dinner that I'm sure you spent hours preparing. Coming to college, I knew being on my own would be difficult, but not having someone there to ask for advice (or a couple bucks for gas) is a concept I am struggling to grasp. They didn't prepare you to become an adult. No one tells you to be appreciative of those home-cooked meals or the times your mom brings you an extra blanket while your sleeping. Your parents aren't there to assist you in the little things because that's what becoming an adult is about, but for me it's about returning the favor to my parents as well.

Sincerely,

Your Apologetic Child