To anyone who has felt brushed to the side. Hear me: you are worth it. You are enough. You are so much more than the feelings of loneliness and abandonment plaguing your mind.
Whatever you're going through, know that you are never alone - not even close.
On multiple occasions, I've felt this same pulling in my stomach telling me that since this one person or one employer doesn't want me that I will never be successful. Resisting these negative thoughts gets increasingly difficult the more you experience the feeling of abandonment. Some days you may not even feel like you can fight the feelings dragging you down, but you can. Though you may not think you are, you are strong. You are enough!
I was in a toxic romantic relationship for three years before I found that I was worth so much more. Now this relationship wasn't all bad, but it was definitely mostly bad. And I didn't recognize it. (To keep my story short and to give the people involved their privacy, I won't go into too much detail.) For years, I let this boy toss me around only to be used and pulled along at his convenience, and even when he unexpectedly broke up with me, I was so scared of being abandoned that I idiotically said yes when he begged for me back. During our second round of dating, I didn't let him push me around and found that I really wasn't feeling fulfilled, encouraged, or even happy in this relationship.
Maybe I was holding on because it was my first real relationship, or maybe I was scared of what would happen if we broke it off. Whatever my reasoning, I know the root of the problem was buried in my fear of abandonment. But, man, was I worthy of feeling wanted again! You see, I thought that this boy was it for me, that he was the first and last person out there for me. I was so, so wrong. (Check out my previous article to find out more about learning to let go and love even though it's difficult: To Listen To Your Heart, You've Got To Learn To Let Go)
If you have ever felt abandonment like this whether it's from friends, family, or a significant other, I want you to know this: you are enough and will find people who treat you like the precious gift you are.
Being an extremely empathetic person, I'm not sure how people can just go and abandon someone they "love," but I'm also not perfect . . . or omniscient for that matter. What I do know is that regardless of the other person's intention, what really matters is how their words and actions impact and affect you. And if that person doesn't understand how important you and your feelings are, maybe it's time to let go. Abandonment is frightening. But so is being stuck in an unloving and toxic relationship for the rest of your life.
Be strong and find your worth. I know how hard it can be sometimes, but through your strength and support from your good friends, you can do it. You are enough and are worth the wait. Go find yourself and be free from the weight of fear of abandonment - I promise, you won't regret it.
