Welcome to the 21^st century: a time where women everywhere are fighting for equality economically, politically and socially. A time of change, acceptance, independence and renewal… or so it seems. More often than not, holidays and family gatherings are filled with questions about my classes, my travels and boys. Life updates now include details about my newest love interest. Because of this, I am writing an answer to the question about boys, hoping that the frequency of the question becomes less and less.

We have a short window of time to experience life with no strings attached, completely independently. Whether that be traveling the world, landing your dream job or binge watching a Netflix series, we don’t have long to do it alone. We deserve complete ownership of our hearts at some point in our lives and that desire is nothing to be ashamed of. Think about it: growing up we lived under our parent’s direction, being told what to do and when to do it. And thank God for that because without their help we would still be the lost and dramatic teens we were. We grew up on set rules and schedules, always answering to others. Now, we are on our own, picking our own schedules and filling our time as we please. But this window is shorter than you think. Sooner than later we are going to have professions to commit our time to and families to commit our hearts to. But for now, we have ourselves, our dreams and our independence. We do not have to answer to anyone but ourselves.

In the past, women were viewed as home bodies because they were constantly working in the home or with the kids while the man made a living and was considered successful. Women held little significance in society. Now, women have fought their way into the work place, holding some of the most influential titles in today’s world. Women have found their voices and are demanding to be heard. So why is everyone so caught up on whether or not we are dating? Have we not proven our independent worth? Who says we need a man?

Don’t get me wrong, having a relationship and accomplishing your goals is the ultimate dream. In order to have that type of relationship though, you need someone who is going to respect and support you. But how can we ask someone to do that when the majority of us don’t respect and support ourselves? What I am proposing is this: take your well-deserved alone time and learn how to love yourself first and never feel guilty or ashamed of that.

So, the next time someone asks about your love life, challenge them by explaining your independent worth. Tell them your goals and how YOU want to accomplish them. But most importantly, tell them you don’t need a relationship to obtain and maintain success or significance. We, as women, have proven our worth and deserve to be respected with or without a man. Stay strong ladies and always remember: no matter how far we have come, we should continuously strive for the respect and acknowledgment we deserve.