I remember the first time you told me you loved me - you wrote it, in German, on your notebook during Psych. I thought that it was romantic and sweet. You had a way of making me feel so loved, and so wanted, that it was so incredibly easy for me to fall in love with you. For the first time, I actually felt a real connection with someone; I actually thought that I had found true happiness.
It seemed a little surreal at first. I actually thought to myself, "This handsome, funny guy is attracted to ME. This is some sort of a joke. I must be getting punk'd."
But as it turned out, you really did like me. And it was wonderful. You made me so happy. In my eyes, you were the definition of perfect. I was thinking that we would be together and everything would be perfect. If only you would let me..
I should have seen the signs in the beginning - the fact that you constantly ignored my messages, or would be extremely distant at times, or the fact that I ONLY saw you at night. I kept thinking that at some point you would have to let me in. But you never did. The more distant you became and the more lies you told, the more irritated I became with you. I kept walking away and saying, "I've had enough." But I would always come back and the cycle would repeat, over and over again.
Finally, we'd both had enough. It became clear that no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get you to open up. And I couldn't make you want something with me. I walked away for the last time and we haven't spoken since.
I wish I could say that we ended on a good note, but that would be a lie. I wish I could say that I never think about you, but that would be the biggest lie of all. I miss you more than I ever thought possible. And I wish that things had worked out differently for us. But You've moved on and you're starting a new chapter in your life with someone new.
I wish I could say that I'm happy for you, but I can't..Because, as much as I hate to admit it, I still love you.
But you broke me, and for that, I don't think i'll ever be able to forgive you.
