Look, I know I'm irrelevant and everyone should be able to live and believe and do whatever the heck they want, but it's been a long week, ladies and gentlemen, and I'm in the mood for a rant. So here is a completely random and pointless list of things I wish I could say to people sometimes.
1. EAT YOUR CARBS
Oh my goodness sometimes I just wish I could yell this through a megaphone. Carbs are not the enemy. Fats are not the enemy. You need them, that's why they're part of your macros! You will have 10x more energy and feel so much better, just please, Karen, have some pasta I promise you will be just fine.
2. For the love of God, can we all stop taking social media so seriously?
This is actually something I've had to scream at myself recently. Everyone's guilty of it. You spend an hour editing a picture, then send it to your friends to make sure it's "insta-worthy", then you buy a freaking app that lets you fake upload pictures to your feed to make sure it matches and when you finally post it you watch the likes and comments like a hawk to make sure it was a decent picture. Yeah. This used to be me (and my Instagram account wasn't ever even that good so it just makes this sad, honestly). But it's so dumb. I mean there's nothing wrong with editing pictures and posting good ones that you like, but we should be able to post dumb stuff too without caring about it or being judged. Last night I posted a "doge" meme from like 2013 just to be dumb. It only got 80 likes. I felt very liberated, you should try it.
3. Stop judging people who are affiliates with *certain* online businesses
I just don't understand why people take the time out of their day to write an entire post about how annoyed they are with seeing other people simply trying to sell skincare products or weight loss methods or whatever it is. They're just trying to make a lil cash like everyone else in the world and for a lot of them, this is their second job. You've got to give them credit for working hard and putting themselves out there because most people are too afraid to put themselves in that position. So yeah, you can be annoyed with the posts and call it a pyramid scheme all you want but I mean can you just not be publicly rude about it? If you don't like it you don't have to buy it ok? So next time Linda posts about her ~miracle haircare routine~ just scroll past, dude.
4. WHY is no white after labor day a thing??
I still don't understand why this is a fashion rule. It's still hot after labor day, I still have a summer tan, and white really compliments a good tan. WHY was this ever considered a good idea. Even when the cold weather comes in, haven't you guys ever heard of winter white????????
5. And for the last thing on my mind today that I am going to get an insane amount of hate for...
*looks down in nervousness and talks quietly*
Why is everyone freaking out about Ariana Grande? Yeah she's pretty and she has a few catchy songs but they're honestly pretty generic pop songs that are pretty much the same and she's always saying stuff like "issa vibe" and "keep that same energy fr" and she spells "something" as "sum" and she's a grown woman..I just...
I'm sorry I'm just being mean now.
Anyways, I'm sorry if you wasted your time reading this but I feel a lot better now. I'm done.