I’m all for being well-dressed and fashionably late, except for one occasion: at the airport. If there was ever a place to leave your diva act behind, it is at the security check point. An airport is a place for slightly chic sweatpants and neck cushions. The metal detector is not, by any means, a catwalk to showcase every metal bracelet and thousand-dollar belt that you own. To the lady with the Louis Vuitton trunk show piling up unattended, your perfect strut back and forth through security impresses no one in the line behind you. To the future rapper with more chains around his neck than a cast member of "Les Miserables," please audition for Jean Valjean anywhere other than right here.
Inspired by the crazies at the airport last night who bickered so much that we all had to disembark the plane for 2.5 hours, here's a list of the most common annoying humans who you meet before and during your flight.
1. The woman whose name is being announced in the "last call" announcement and who is still taking her sweet time walking over in five inch heels
2. The person who decides to read their brightly lit tablet next to you when everyone else in the cabin is trying to sleep
3. The person seated at the window seat who needs to use the bathroom every half hour
4. The child (or sometimes adult) who keeps kicking your seat
5. The adult (or sometimes child) who keeps leaning their seat back onto you
6. The person who is laughing like a hyena at every single joke made by the movie that is playing on their portable electronic device
7. The person sitting next to you who keeps trying to talk to you when you're trying to sleep
8. The screaming baby on the flight in the row in front of you
9. The person who has decided that the flight attendant is their personal assistant.
10. The person who invades your personal space bubble and takes over the arm rest
11. The person next to you who is coughing up a lung or sneezing their brains out
12. The person in front of you who does not raise their seat-back when the food carts arrive
So, here's a parting note. On this spring break, please do not be one of those people on the flight! Keep things happy for your fellow travelers. We all want to start off our vacations the right way.
