As a writer, I think a lot of abstract thoughts, wondering about humanity, and what leads people to make the choices they do. Today, I'm wondering about anger. What leads some people to hold on to such a destructive emotion for so long, while others choose to let it go and forgive? More importantly, which is the right direction to take?
It's strange, but despite all the horrible sensations Anger brings with it, I think sometimes we don't want to let it go. We are angriest when we are hurt, and when it's people who do us harm, we want them to suffer for what they've done. We want them to hurt just as much as we do - pay for the afflictions they've committed. But let's look at it realistically. Do we ourselves always recognize when we've hurt someone? Have not we ourselves often accidentally said or done something we didn't mean? None of us are truly guiltless of having done harm.
Yet we get so upset when others do it to us. Suddenly, it doesn't matter how many wrongs we've committed in the past, someone's wronged us and that's more important, right? No. I don't think that can be right. The fact is, Anger breeds Anger, Pain breeds Pain, and both of them feed on each other.
Throughout all of this, there are still some people who exist who are able to let Anger go. They disperse with the desire to see people suffer entirely and they forgive those who have hurt them. Think about that for a moment. They Forgive them. Forgiveness is possibly the hardest thing any of us will ever be asked to do. And this is strange. If Anger creates pain and heartache, then doesn't it then follow that Forgiveness - it's polar twin - will create healing and peace? Surely something like that should be easy to follow through on. We human beings are constantly seeking out things to make us happier, yet continually, we're turning away from the simple things that will help us the most. Instead, we hold on to the bad things like Anger with a vice grip, never forgetting, never calming, always burning. Then we tell ourselves that the little things don't work. Only fools would Forgive. Forgiveness makes you weak! Vulnerable! And it gives your enemies the chance to hurt you again! Anger protects you and makes your enemies scared! No one can hurt you when you're Angry!
What a load of crap.
We're old enough as a human race to know that just because something is hard, it doesn't mean it's stupid. Forgiveness is a powerful tool because of what it does to you. Holding onto that rage burns up your body, making you weaker. That's what really hurts you. Forgiving someone frees you. At the end of the day, the one who has forgiven his enemies is the one who will never again have to be tormented by what they've done. If the enemy doesn't change because of it, that's his problem, and one day, he will suffer completely for it. We shouldn't have to suffer with them.
But it's still hard. I don't really know why. Maybe we're scared. Maybe we really are afraid it will make us vulnerable and encourage our enemies to do worse things. Maybe that's true. I don't know. All I know is that things very rarely will happen the way we expect them to. Speaking as one with an anxiety disorder, I could tell you countless stories of the times when I was afraid of doing something because of all the horrible things I imagined would happen as a result. None of them did. And often, I'd feel a little healed for trying.
Anger is destructive. Forgiveness will heal. That's what I've been thinking today. So tell me, which path are you going to take?
