I recently had a friend ask me about tips and food recommendations on NOLA since she will be here in 2017 for Mardi Gras. I happily obliged with all the food recommendations and advice I could think of. Then I realized it would probably be some sage advice for out-of-towners coming in for Voodoo Fest this week. So here it is, the Unofficial Guide To New Orleans Eating by a Mouthy Local.

When it comes to New Orleans, we all know eating is a highlight, if not the best part. I literally can’t help but give stink face to people that say they aren’t here for the food. Even if you’re not here for the food... you’re totally here for the food. It’s my favorite part of living here—I go out to eat as much as I freaking can. I broke this down in parts: breakfast, not breakfast, and dessert and $-$$$ as Google would probably suggest. (Bonus points if you check Google against my judgments and they end up the same—I’ll feel really excited).

What To Eat:

Breakfast

So you wake up and it’s time for breakfast—first thing’s first, get some beignets. Don’t get them from anywhere else except Cafe du Monde. No kidding, it’s not worth it to go anywhere else. Just go to Cafe du Monde. If you’re arriving on a weekend, though, wait to have it for breakfast on Monday. The wait times are ridiculous during the weekends, and while they are good... let’s be real, no food is worth waiting 45+ minutes.

There are tons of amazing spots for brunch, and I will list my faves in no particular order with their dollar sign (general total including tax) next to them. These are places that no matter what I get, I like it, so I will not dictate any particular plate to you... except you should definitely get an order of praline maple bacon at Elizabeth’s regardless of what you order there.

Elizabeth’s
($-$$ depending on how you order)
A la carte will come to $$ but it’s fun to mix and match tasty foods

SURREY’S ($)
OMG. Probably the best damn home-cooking I can get outside my momma’s house. It’s so cheap, so delicious, and the one further up magazine is right by a bar so you can grab some bloody marys from Laissez Les Bons Temps bar and enjoy a hearty meal. Laissez les bon temps is internationally known for their bloody marys so 10/10 do recommend. If I am in town, you’ll probably find me here indulging in some hair o’ the dog and the Costa Rican breakfast. I’m there almost weekly. My best friend and I walk there on Sundays.

Oak Street Cafe ($)
Cute and quaint breakfast, usually with a pianist or jazz trio playing live

Sylvain ($$ or higher depending on how many cocktails ya wanna get for brunch)
Brunch is bae there and it is a very pretty place.

Biscuits and buns on banks ($)
Not in the FQ (French Quarter), but it is good delicious homestyle food worth the pricey Uber trip

Brennan’s or Commander’s ($$$$)
Fancy, Southern brunch but also worth the buck if you’re feeling flossy. I would still recommend the other three before these two, but I also don’t vacation here and feel flossy often. May not be your flavor if you’re not down for seafood/southern/creole brunches.

Little known fact: Here in New Orleans, we’re good at coffee... addictingly good. Try PJ’s. It’s okay generally not my fave but it’s littered all over the FQ so I know it’s not hard to find. However, best coffee is at Hey Cafe, Hi Volt, French Truck, Cafe du Monde, and CC’s. You may find smaller places (P&G or Stumptown) they are also good—these are just some of my favorites.

Not Breakfast

Okay, breakfast has been done. Chances are you're too stuffed for lunch, but if you like to eat well and make sure you never wanna eat anywhere else ever again, you’ll totally try to get in lunch. These spots are my faves, also listed in no particular order, and if there’s a spot I think is better for lunch specifically, I will note it in the descriptions

Mais Arepas ($$)
Yes it’s Hispanic and not Southern, yes it’s in a random area, but you will do yourself a horrible disservice if you don’t go. Make a reservation and go and drink all the sangria. This is def one of those hole in the wall places that we want to keep secret and don’t wanna share with anybody. It’s hard enough getting a table there as is. I would say tell them I sent you since I’m there often enough, but I got in a fight with the server once so it’s probably not the best idea.

Cowbell ($$)
More Americanized Hispanic food; go if you’re really in the mood for a burger and a good cocktail. Their chef was on "Chopped," he’s kind of an asshole and if he’s there, he may watch you eat, but he’s a perfectionist... I would be pissed too if I lost on "Chopped" twice. Even though he lost, the food is fucking fantastic. Always love going there.OH, AND GET THE LOBSTER MAC N CHEESE 10/10 MAC-EST AND CHEESY-EST.

Popeyes Louisiana Kitchen ($)
I’ve been to Popeyes in Texas and California and Missouri—but in NewOrleans we have the best Popeyes, Cane’s and Brother’s chicken hands down. We do fried chicken better than most. Get this when drunk and hungry.

Vincent’s ($$$)
Romantic Italian place; as authentically Italian as you get and serves you a LOT of food. Go there twice and you may have enough to get through the week. Reservation is wise.

Peche ($$$$)
New-ish seafood spot. Pretty fancy but worth the while. Do not go if the wait is over 30 min. Not that worth it.

I know I know, you’re probably like, "Steph, none of this is Cajun goodness." To be honest, I don’t eat Cajun cuisine a lot because I live here, so I do not crave Cajun food often. I also judge anything that isn't made my a mildly overweight grandma with an accent. But I understand the need to try some Cajun in Cajun Country—top Cajun spots are Mulate's, Mothers, Jacques-Imo's and K Paul's. All three are roughly $$-$$$ but they definitely do Southern food justice. If anyone tells you of other places and they live here, take it into consideration and compare menus. If the menu doesn’t have at least three different shrimp plates, don’t go cause it ain’t Cajun.

Dessert

This is my favorite part of the foodie trek. I won’t even value these, just go with what you think is best. I love all of these to death and you really cannot make a bad decision from this. The places are as follows:

Sucre, Creole Creamery, District Donuts, Willa Jean’s Cookies, Bittersweet Confections, Swiss Bakery

Where to go and visit:

I’m not gonna give much in terms of where to go. If you even do a simple online search for "places New Orleans," everyone’s taken care of the big ones. I hate Bourbon Street—I think it’s filth—but if you’ve never been, just get it out of your system now. Frenchmen Street is where it’s at, but stick to visiting on Friday or Saturday. (Everything dies down on Sunday.) My favorite places are all outdoors. I love the Riverwalk and watching the Mississippi River. I like to hear people playing music at Armstrong Park. I like to hit the Rusty Rainbow, known as Crescent Park, after dropping cash like nobody’s business at Euclid Records. I like to watch the weekday sunset at the Fly while my dog runs around. Other favorites including wandering Julia Street and popping in and out of art galleries, art museums, and shopping. We don’t have a lot of “funky” clothing shops, but there's plenty of unique stuff to browse and see. A lot of it is crap. If anyone disagrees... well, they probably have not lived here their entire life. However, this place is full of little gems, so approach everything curiously and follow every nook and cranny that you think is worth the trip. You can end up in some pretty cool spots if done right.

General advice from a local:

Over everything: LAISSEZ LES BON TEMPS ROULEZ. Have fun, get wasted, and make silly youthful memories. That’s literally what this place is for.

Stay Alert
There are definitely things that I worry about for people out of town, though. One, we are all REALLY good at figuring out who’s not from here. Maybe it’s the way you smell, maybe it’s the way y’all react to spicy food. I do not know how, but we just sense it like Spider Man. Be aware of yourself and the people around you as best as possible. It is kinda like being abroad, you’re there to have a good time, but you gotta stay alert.

ATM Fees
Also, we still have places that are cash only, and our ATMs are RIDICULOUS. You could pay up to $3 in fees. Budget how much you wanna spend on bar tabs and impulse buys, and take that out in cash before you even get here. Keep 25—40 on you at all times, for anything from covers to last minute late night food. If someone does swipe your bag or pick your pocket, you won’t be out much and can continue on without it ruining your night. Also, your bartenders will be thankful to not have to slow down their flow to charge a card.

Bar Etiquette
And that’s another thing, our bars are always pretty crowded. Unless you’re at dinner or in a bougie bar, hangin' at any of our FQ bars is not the time to order a Pimm’s cup or mojito. Stick to what you know is easy: beer, 7&7, Jack N Coke, whiskey neat, etc. The bartender won’t hate you and you can move from the bar to the dance floor much quicker.

Walking Around With Your Alcohol
This state is the only open carry state I know of. If you’re blowing all your money on $$$$ meals and wanna go cheap on the liquor, BY ALL MEANS DO SO. Our bars are increasingly overpriced as tourism gets bigger. Hit up a Discount Zone or convenience store for your house party faves: limearitas, Abitas, semitas, any and all of it. Our tax is 10%, but you ultimately save at least $10 bucks when our beers come in small plastic cups for $3 from a bar that relishes its reputation as dirty and old. If you’re down for being cheap, be cheap. It looks good on you.

Know Before You Go
Lastly, I’m gonna warn you about the Bywater. It’s got some of the coolest, divey spots like the Country Club, Siberia, Allways, Hi-Ho, etc. BUT IT IS DANGEROUS. The amount of news we get about tourists buying drugs or going alone in that area is too frequent. If you go, go with someone you know. Go in a group. Go with me. If you’re having the full experience, you’ll probably end up at a party over there but you really need to be safe about it. It is a great spot, and I hate when people bad mouth it, but it is definitely a spot where few tourists go and when they do, they’re easy targets (because it’s so few of y’all, and again, y’all are easy to spot).

I hope that all helps, and I hope that covers everything, but if you need me to clarify or tell you more, feel free to ask! Also, some people might look at my food list and tell you I am missing things like Lilette, Emeril's, Antoine's, etc. Yeah yeah, those are fine, but the places I listed are the places that I have gone, taken a bite and instantly thought "Well now I must come back." Fancy food is great and I love going and throwing bills at my meal, but ultimately, they don't stand out in my mind. If they proceed to tell you I am wrong, well, hear them out—they might know something I don't know.

All love—that mouthy local girl.