You were my first real boyfriend. The one that defined my life for an entire year. I did love you. I will never downplay what we had.

Looking back at it now, a year separated, I cannot thank you enough. You taught me about myself, and about who I wanted to be. You're the one who broke down my self esteem so that I had the chance to build it back up on my own. You taught me that relationships are so much more than small petty arguments. You taught me that I deserve to have my own opinions and make my own decisions. You taught me that I am not property and can't be manipulated. You taught me that material gifts never make up for emotional scars.

You reminded me day in and day out that I was damaged somehow. You told me that I was overweight, so I went to the gym. You told me you didn't like brunettes so I spent $100 and went blonde. You hated tattoos, so I covered mine with concealer everyday. You hated my parents, so I avoided going home. You were jealous and protective, so I stayed in my dorm every Friday and Saturday night. You cheated on me and told me it was my fault, so I believed you.

I cannot thank you enough. You turned a weak, self conscious, emotionally unstable girl into a strong, stable, confident, badass woman. I no longer spend hours in a stairwell crying because of an insult. I no longer workout because someone else wanted me to. I no longer change my hair color unless I want to. I no longer hide my significant other from my parents. I no longer believe I am the reason for your infidelity.

I am strong. I am confident. I am happy. And that's all thanks to you. Thanks to you, I have an amazing adult relationship that I'm not ashamed of. Thanks to you, I haven't cried in a few months. Thanks to you, I love the way I look. Thanks to you, I do what I want, when I want without jealousy. I honestly believe that without your mistreatment I wouldn't be who I am today. So thank you. You have given me an example of someone I never want in my life ever again.

And for that....I cannot thank you enough.