Dear Trapped Lover,

I absolutely dislike when people tell me they understand a situation I am in. So I am not writing this to tell you I understand because you truly can never understand someone’s feelings unless you can know every detail of their mind, however, I am writing this to tell you that you are in no way alone.

You feel trapped. You are suffocating in a corner to keep him or her in your life. It is a horrible gut wrenching feeling. You are in a constant war with your heart and mind. You know what you need to do but you are so petrified to do it. It flat out sucks, it utterly and completely destroys you. The thought of letting him or her go leads to the next thought of what will happen to them when you actually do it. Will you two truly be able to stay friends? Will they leave you? Will this actually be for the best? So many questions, yet you have no way of answering them. You may as well lock yourself in a closet, because that is exactly how you feel.

You are brought into this world alone and as disappointing as this may sound, you are going to exit this world alone. The only thing we are ever sure of is that we have ourselves and that is it. Nothing and nobody else is guaranteed. So create a life that you are happy living, not a life you are trying to keep someone else happy out of fear of hurting them. It’s life; we all hurt and get hurt in return. It is a never-ending cycle we must all experience, stop putting it off.

You are not a terrible person. You are not ruining your life or making a mistake. He or she may never understand and you may never get to explain yourself, but it is a price you need to pay. You will always love them, but you need to love yourself too and hope that they are able to forgive you one day. You are human and you deserve to be happy. You deserve a better life than one filled with settling and doubting. You deserve certainty and passion. And so do they. Yeah it is easier said than done, but there is only so long you are trapped before you have to do it.

Everything happens for a reason. Growing up I used to despise when my mom told me that, but it is actually true. I have learned that if it was not for what happened in my past then I definitely would not be where I am. If it was not for the pain I felt, I would not be feeling the happiness I do some days. You were given this person for a reason and the memories you made with them will never diminish, I promise. And some days your heart will hurt and you will cry endlessly over them. The day they delete every picture of you two on social media and change their profile picture will hurt like hell. Memories will come back in random waves or in your dreams and you will wake up wondering about them, but do not hate those memories. Cherish them because you were lucky enough to have a memory with someone you will always love. And then something happens and suddenly your heart does not hurt as much.

It is a confusing feeling. You are the one feeling trapped and although it may seem simple to others, it is not that easy to just get up and end something with someone you immensely care about. Your heart will get broken in the process, not only theirs. That is another price you need to pay. But it is unfair to you to have to put up a front with him or her. It is unfair to them as well. You need to look at it as if you were them, would you want to know? In the end you need to do it for them, because us trapped lovers cannot always do it for ourselves.

Do not stick it out; it will not get better with time. Love doesn’t work that way. Love is one emotion you cannot alter or adjust. It is also one emotion that can either heal or kill us. And although right not it may be killing you, eventually it will heal you again. One day you will end up exactly where you are meant to be and you will reminisce back on these days when you finally decided to take a life-changing leap, and you will thank yourself. You will no longer be trapped.

Sincerely,

A Formerly Trapped and Now Happy Lover