Below is a collection of letters to those who were: people, things, and experiences. Some of you were beneficial, others not; a few began as one thing and turned to another. No matter how you affected me, what matters is you did. Here are the things I've wanted to say to you, but didn't know how:

Dear ________,

You were my best friend, my confidante, I looked up to you as an older girl. I admired your faith in life and willingness to jump into whatever captivated you. You were idealistic to me and I often wondered how you had chosen me to be your friend, why? You could have anyone... Perhaps our history? We had no choice in the matter once, but our friendship defied odds across the country until I was the one to make a move. You called the shots, but then when I took charge there was silence. Was I never supposed to live my life? You encouraged me to follow your steps but I never felt truly welcome to, so I left. I found myself, as a result of my move away after we finally lived near. I know, I was supposed to consult you first. I could never know what was best for me. However, I didn't consult you and my attempts to solidify our friendship after my departure was met with radio silence. Occasionally, I heard a rumor you had started about me, but there was no happy birthday, merry Christmas, or congrats on your new job. I eventually took you out of my online feeds, closed the door on something that was already so one sided. Then you tried to reopen it via Facebook. Facebook? I know that friend request wasn't sincere or metaphorical for a real one. You always loved comparison and I felt like that was a way to, yet again, see how your life was going compared to mine. I was hurt, you couldn't even return my calls. You wanted to see me, but not hear me, like a fish watched through glass. Now, though, I don't miss you anymore. I don't find myself searching your name to see if you have any new photos because I think we're happier without each other, at least I know I am.

Sincerely, A Girl Who Found Her Own Life

Dear ______,

You stole my mind when I couldn't deal with it. I used you outside of your purpose solely for my own twisted confusion. I was lonely and hurt, you brought me solace. I have since found help. I have since reclaimed my mind, my arms, my legs, everything you wanted for yourself. I learned to love, myself and others, and learned to accept flaws as formative necessities and beautiful adornments. Thank you for nothing.

Sincerely, Never Needed You

Dear _______,

I thought you were the be all and end all; closure I'd never have, the satisfaction I wouldn't find. I now know that I never needed you. I had won the 2-in-1, the best of the best, and she became you better than you could ever be. Once upon a time, I was sad that you had missed the graduation, weren't there to drive me to basketball at least once in those nine years, angry that you never met my favorite teacher. Now, I can't fathom you doing any of that. I can't picture you in our Christmas card or cleaning my bunny's cage. I realize now that she was meant to do it all and a million times better. I've recently let go of most of the pain you caused and understand why my life was supposed to be this way. I don't understand you, your reasoning, or your motivation, but I don't want to. I couldn't care less. My life was lived correctly, despite yours being wrong. Getting to know you makes me glad you weren't there. Looking back on what could have been is no longer a five-year old's fantasy. Thank you for being absent and I'm sorry I ever hated you for it.

Sincerely, No Longer Sincere

Dear _________,

Wow. You made me miserable. I'm not sure why I ever even listened to your twisted views and harsh opinions. I guess I never realized I was allowed to have my own.

Sincerely, Well Thought Out

Dear _____,

You were the best experience of my life. I was excited every time I thought of going and sad every time I thought of leaving. I will admit, I hated when it rained and we had inside movies, but even those were pretty great in the scheme of things. Am I still so in love with this place and time because I was young when it happened? I wonder that often, but I don't think so. I feel like this time really set the tone for the rest of my life. I got to do anything and everything during the summers there/then. That time was amazing, free, creative, and unique. The atmosphere was accepting, fun, and uninterrupted. Those of us who spent a whole three months there had the best time of all. Anyone experiences this will forever be the luckiest kid ever.

Sincerely, Once a Camper...

Dear ________.

You still are. You're my best friend, something I never thought would happen. I saw you in the halls all the time, laughing, wearing your pigtails, but it wasn't until sometime in an April that we would consider each other friends. Now, I can't imagine high school at Ashley without you. From ____'s backyard night, theater at _____, and time just relaxing at ______, you have been apart of some of my favorite experiences with ____ and ________, though you will always stand out. I love your group, our laughs, our pizza excursions, and ghost hunting like we're five. I may not say it enough, but you know through action how much I love you. Thank you for being here.

Sincerely, Unexpected

Dear _____,

You are and always will be. You're my number one fan and friend, getting me through thick and thin for nearly eighteen years. How you do it, I cannot fathom, but I'm so glad you do.

Sincerely, your family

Some were, some are, few always will be, but it is memory and experience that shapes us all, for better or worse.