Hello World,

I've been waiting for you. I've been waiting and waiting for you to show me all of the beauty that seemed so easy to find. Lately, it's so much harder to find the places where love and happiness grow. I've read every poem, quote, and article, searching for the hope that used to live somewhere inside of me. It's what the world has known me for. It's what makes me everything that I am.

But, I'm tired. I'm tired of searching mile after mile for answers that never appear. I'm tired of feeling invisible to the people who need me most. I'm tired of trying to understand questions that may never have an answer. Oh, world, you make me tired.

I am young and restless. I want someplace to call home, fully-furnished with a meaningful career and people to share my life with. I want to be accomplished and successful. I want to feel safety and security. But, no matter how hard I try, you never seem to give me the upper hand. I'm always left feeling defeated and just short of where I need to be.

I never expected to have anything handed on a silver platter. And, certainly, some of it was, as each of us sees some sort of luck in our lifetime. But, I watched others be served plate after plate while I gave blood, sweat, and tears to just see a few. I know I am blessed beyond belief, but it still doesn't always seem fair.

Why do the people I share everything with seem to leave me with their leftover crumbs? Why are my efforts rarely enough to satisfy the desires of others? To satisfy my own expectations of myself?

I'm not bitter, only curious as to what sort of karmic payment I am giving. What could I do to be better?

I've let these thoughts sit inside of me and stew until I can't bear to spend another moment in this world. Why do darkness and evil always seem to win? What more must I give in order to overcome the negativity that is inevitable?

Of course, I could give to myself. These negative feelings that allow themselves to grow from within could be channeled into the energy that is necessary to give myself exactly what I need. I could give myself opportunities, confidence, and unconditional love. I could give myself the gift of valuable relationships and keep those I love near. I could give myself the time and resources to make the happiness that I desperately deserve.

You may have forgotten me, world, but I have not forgotten what I can give to you. And so, despite the occasional pain you may set on my shoulder, I will always prevail. I will continue to share my smile with others who need it. I will fight to stand by those who need me most. I will share the talents that I worked incredibly hard to achieve.

I will live, world. I will simply and joyfully live.