Dear student,
August is almost here and that means most colleges are about to recruit their new band of highly intellectual individuals. Many of you are traveling out of country to commence your undergraduate degree (yes, I am one of you). You must have started deciding which clothes to take and whether to buy a new laptop; you've probably taken driving classes and planned an entire winter road trip with you friends living abroad. However, despite all the planning you, are probably preventing the idea of leaving from settling in your head. It is a bittersweet sensation. You don’t want to leave, but you don't want to stay back either. At times like this I really wish Hogwarts existed. (OK, sorry for the totally irrelevant Harry Potter reference)
Whenever I picture myself boarding the plane alone for the first time, traveling away from my family, it feels surreal. Some of you might believe that acknowledging it openly might jinx it and slap your head instantly, muttering “don’t be too sure yet." I know I do. Months ago when you were storming your head to write an attractive essay or cramming it with difficult SAT vocabulary, you probably thought “there is still a long way to go." But now, when you are just days away from your orientation, you actually kind of wish that there was still a long way to go.
Why is that? Only you and I know how difficult it has been for us to finally achieve this. Most of you, like me, have probably applied to roughly 15 to 20 universities and then finally narrowed your options down to one. Of course, applying does not only mean filling out the forms. Besides writing the essays and spending hours on practice tests, you must have rushed after various extracurricular activities to decorate your resume. All that hard work just for one paper? Such a shame. Just kidding. Nonetheless, it happened. Editing essays, learning Barron’s by heart, formatting resumes, organizing events and a couple of heartbreaking rejections finally got you here. You achieved what you have probably been craving to achieve for the last few years of your high school life. So that requires a big pat on your back.
But I know, despite all that, it is breaking your heart into million pieces as the time of departure is nearing. It is painful to an extent that it is making you question your decision. Especially when you begin to notice your mother’s tired eyes trying to hide the tears she just shed in the kitchen, or your sibling being extra nice and actually letting you use their belongings without any argument; you want to cling onto every possibility of staying back. I fear every moment when my little brother will suddenly change his mind and say, “Aptu, don’t leave,” because I know for a fact that then I would have to find every remaining strength in myself to go against that.
Regardless, we all have to overcome this guilt and pursue something we have dreamed of since we were kids. All those times, wasn’t there a single moment when you craved for this dream to come true? Were there not times when you wished that there would come a day when you will have the freedom to live your life on your own? And when I say “freedom” I don’t mean turning into a party animal and sniffing cocaine on Saturdays. I mean the freedom to build your intellect in your way: to be able to choose what is right for you and what is not but on your responsibility. If not anything, these dreams deserve a chance.
Don’t let this guilt lower your self-confidence. In fact, look at it positively. Its existence reminds us where our loyalty lies: our family. It assures us that our heart belongs here. When you dreamed of going abroad as a kid, you only thought about the fun times you will be spending there. But now you know that there are going to be painful times as well. But you know that you will be able to handle it because you have come this far. You now know how much your family and your country matters to you. They matter so much that you are willing to sacrifice your dream which has been residing in your heart forever. So why not try to achieve better qualifications so that you can do something beneficial for them? If nothing else matters, try to make this your motive. When you will be there, facing those difficult times and almost reaching your threshold, remind yourself of this motive and strive harder. Whatever happens, don’t hold yourself back.
Every opportunity in life is worth taking despite how risky it seems. You are fortunate enough to live the life that many probably can’t even dare to dream of. If not anything, tell yourself that someday you will make their lives easier. But do fulfill this dream while you can. As my mother always says, “No risk, no gain."
Sincerely,
A fellow student going abroad
