There are many goals I want to accomplish in my life, and with life being so unpredictable and uncertain, I thought I would just share a quick story. As I look back on just my short 20 years here, I have accomplished a lot from getting my Associate's Degree to moving to Florida and so on, but there is one thing I have yet to accomplish and it bugs me almost every day: I have a half sister that I have yet to meet.
It is actually quite an interesting story if I do say so myself, but I will give you the brief, shortened version. When I was very little, about one, my parents got a divorce and my dad got remarried. When I was four-years-old, my step-mom and dad gave birth to a beautiful baby girl named McKenna and I was beyond thrilled to be a big sister. Finally! They always talked about how great of a big sister I was going to be and how this is a start of a new chapter for me. I was so excited to be a big sister but nothing could have prepared me for how I feel about the fact that I never got to be.
Soon after my sister was born, my dad just took off and moved away, and I have not heard from their family since. Not a word from my dad, which means I lost all contact with the sister I never got the chance to get to know. It has been almost 17 years. I wanted to write this letter for my sister and tell her how I feel and I hopes that someday I get to meet her.
To my sister,
I'm so sorry I couldn't be there for you if you ever needed a shoulder to cry on or someone to pick you up on your bad days. I'm sorry I couldn't watch movies with you and cry during the sad parts and laugh historically until our stomachs hurt during the funny parts. I'm sorry I wasn't there during your middle school years or your first homecoming dance in High School. I'm sorry I wasn't there to comfort you when some boy may have broken your heart. I'm sorry I missed your 16th birthday. I'm sorry that we have never gotten to spend a holiday together. I'm sorry that you couldn't come in my room at 2:00 a.m. to talk if anything was bothering you. I'm sorry that I couldn't back you up when you fought with your parents.
I'm sorry that I wasn't there to watch any sports games you might have been in. I'm sorry we couldn't drive around and sing in the car until we lost our voices. I'm sorry we have never been on a vacation together. I'm sorry I don't know your favorite food. I'm sorry I don't know your everyday struggles. I'm so sorry that I never got the chance to be a part of your life and I am so sorry if you do not even know I exist because all I ever wanted was to be the best big sister for you. I hope that someday I get the chance to meet you, I love you McKenna Connolly and I hope you are loving life and living it to the absolute fullest! I'm always here for you, always have been and always will.
Love,
Your big sister
