An Open Letter To The Sister I Got To Choose

An Open Letter To The Sister I Got To Choose

P.Sawyer has nothing on you as a best friend.

Growing up an only child gave me many advantages and control over my life, one of the benefits being my ability to choose my siblings. Now I know you can’t really choose your siblings, but growing up I got the choice on who to surround myself with and who I allowed to stay through my whole life. This letter is addressed to that sister I got to choose to do life with.

First, I want to thank you for letting me have someone to grow up with. You are one of the only people that knows the struggles I endured and knew me through my growing pains. It is so incredibly difficult to explain some aspects of my life to new friends as sometimes it’s extremely hard to anecdote your past to someone who wasn’t there or can’t grasp the contexts that are necessary to understand what’s going on in my head now. Things that happen when we are young shape who we are today, and not being able to fully explain how much someone, somewhere, or something means to us and putting that into words is damn near impossible, and you just, well get it.

That being said, I want to thank you for sticking by me. I decided to move cross-country to better myself, better my quality of living, and discover life outside of our small town universe. You, closely behind, dropped your everything to do the exact same, and today we live 1,146 miles away from our childhood in what is now the only place we could ever call home. You will never know how much having you here, in our cultured, brewery wealthy, musically inclined paradise means to me. Even in our time apart, we remained connected and you never failed to send me that new A Day to Remember song that we then proceeded to quote for months or Victoria Secret legging sale that I just simply had to spend 60 bucks on.

You have saved me time and time again.

Through our angsty teenage years, through the depression, through the multiple deaths of people close to us, you have saved me. Even when I felt “alone”, in my heart of hearts I knew I wasn’t and I truly knew that I wasn’t the only one that could feel this way, and that saved me, saved my heart, saved my soul.

I want to thank you for Tumblr posts, sneaking liquor into concerts, (well, sneaking alcohol just about everywhere), for hours of OneTreeHill, for my music collection, for moshpitts, for tattoos, and puppy parks. I need to thank you for pulling me out of every failed relationship and for letting me live on your couch more times than I’d like to admit. I have been in love before, but nothing feels like the unshakable bond I feel with you, and that feeling that you will, without a shadow of a doubt, be there for me for years to come.

Your family has become my family, and mine has become yours. I cannot wait to walk down the aisle and have you as my maid of honor (in your prom dress of course, cause that shit was expensive and NEEDS to be seen again). And I can’t wait to have my first child so we can discover downtown over baby bottles and glasses of wine and have them come home to the best day ever with their “way cooler than mom” aunt. I have been so blessed to be able to choose that person to be in their lives.

There’s a reason One Tree Hill became such a huge part of us, and it’s P.Sawyer and B.Davis:

“My best friend –OK this one is so important; choose wisely, I got really lucky with mine. My best friend is funny, intelligent, creative, beautiful, and successful, and very kind. She’s also impulsive, frustrating, um complicated, childish, but I would not have her any other way. And the best part about Brooke Davis is that she always puts friends first. So if you are ever in any kind of trouble, you know who to call. I can’t think of anyone I’d rather have watching over you.”

If you have sisters you understand the power of their unconditional love, but please don’t forget to cherish the siblings you’ve chosen for yourself. This is the shortest possible thank you I could ever begin to produce for you, for there is just so much about us, you, that means so much to me. Here’s to breakups, numerous empty bottles of wine, Wicked soundtracks, and the best sister I could’ve ever asked for.

Love you forever,

The sister you chose

Cover Image Credit: Brandi Harmon

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To The Parent Who Chose Addiction

Thank you for giving me a stronger bond with our family.


When I was younger I resented you, I hated every ounce of you, and I used to question why God would give me a parent like you. Not now. Now I see the beauty and the blessings behind having an addict for a parent. If you're reading this, it isn't meant to hurt you, but rather to thank you.

Thank you for choosing your addiction over me.

Throughout my life, you have always chosen the addiction over my programs, my swim meets or even a simple movie night. You joke about it now or act as if I never questioned if you would wake up the next morning from your pill and alcohol-induced sleep, but I thank you for this. I thank you because I gained a relationship with God. The amount of time I spent praying for you strengthened our relationship in ways I could never explain.

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Thank you for giving me a stronger bond with our family.

The amount of hurt and disappointment our family has gone through has brought us closer together. I have a relationship with Nanny and Pop that would never be as strong as it is today if you had been in the picture from day one. That in itself is a blessing.

Thank you for showing me how to love.

From your absence, I have learned how to love unconditionally. I want you to know that even though you weren't here, I love you most of all. No matter the amount of heartbreak, tears, and pain I've felt, you will always be my greatest love.

Thank you for making me strong.

Thank you for leaving and for showing me how to be independent. From you, I have learned that I do not need anyone else to prove to me that I am worthy of being loved. From you, I have learned that life is always hard, but you shouldn't give into the things that make you feel good for a short while, but should search for the real happiness in life.

Most of all, thank you for showing me how to turn my hurt into motivation.

I have learned that the cycle of addiction is not something that will continue into my life. You have hurt me more than anyone, but through that hurt, I have pushed myself to become the best version of myself.

Thank you for choosing the addiction over me because you've made me stronger, wiser, and loving than I ever could've been before.

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To The Friend Who's Struggling, I'm Here For You

I won't pretend like I know what you're going through, but I want you to know that I'm here.


There are no words that can make the hurt you feel go away, but that's not going to stop me from trying the best way I know how.

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way.

I wish there was something I could do to take all your pain away and make you feel the way you used to.

Depression is an evil thing and even though I don't know what you're going through, I want you to know that I believe you.

You're not crazy and you're not making it all up for attention. You're hurting in a way that I can't even imagine, but I need you to know that it's not your fault.

There's nothing you did to deserve this and there's nothing you could have done to prevent this.

Please know that you're not alone.

You have been there for me at my worst moments and I'm going to be here for you now.

You are so loved and the ones that love you won't leave you, I promise.

You have made such a difference in my life and I can't fathom life without you.

You aren't weak, you are strong and when this is all over, I'll still be here and so will you.

If you want to talk about how you're feeling I'll listen. I'm sorry I didn't notice you hurting sooner, I will never do that again.

You're not a burden to anyone around you, we are here because we love you and nothing in this world will ever make us stop loving you.

You are too strong to let it win.

Please let me know when you need me, and I will be by your side.

You can do this. You will get through this. You are strong as hell.

I love you.

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