Dear Whoever Stole My Car,
On a late Saturday night, you entered my friend's apartment unlawfully. You took advantage of someone leaving the apartment for a few minutes. You stole my car keys and a friend's phone and then you stole my car. All of which happened while there were two people sleeping just a few feet away from where you were standing.
And you weren't quite so cautious when you were leaving because I woke up in time to see you go. I couldn't pick you out of a line up even if I wanted to, but I saw you look back one last time before you left the apartment in which you knew you didn't belong. I still had sleep in my eyes and thought you were a friend, so I simply turned over and let you go.
The next morning, I couldn't find my keys and my friend couldn't find his phone. I went outside to go downstairs to another friend's apartment to see if I had left my keys there... when I saw that the parking space in which my car had been was empty.
Police reports were filed and I got my car back, but I just want you to know that you stole a lot more than just my car and someone else's cell phone.
You stole the progress I had made with my anxiety and depression. I have been sickly anxious and jumpy since I realized that someone had violated me so deeply. I am afraid to be alone. Afraid to walk down the street. Always pulling my possessions closer to myself. I am constantly on the verge of tears.
You stole almost 24 hours of my life. All day Sunday was spent talking with police, worrying, and searching. You stole any rest I may have found that day and even after the car was found, parked perfectly as if it were not stolen, and I slept very poorly and will probably sleep poorly tonight.
You are stealing money from me. Because you stole the key to the car and chucked my driver's license with my other keys attached (thank goodness a girl walking her dog found my keys in the grass-- you at least had the decency to not steal my sloth key chain), I had to have my car towed away from where you had it parked. I am having to keep it impounded for a few days until I can have another key made and afford to pay the towing company.
You stole the sense of safety I had in this world.
You stole the excitement I had for my birthday that was a week away. Did you look at that when you looked at my driver's license? Was this your present to me? You shouldn't have, really. Because you put me in financial jeopardy of being able to enjoy my 20th birthday.
You stole a lot from me physically and figuratively. And I should be extremely upset with you, maybe even hate you. However, I don't. I am upset, but most of all I feel violated and hurt. Sadness. Depression. Hate is no where on the list. Because as I sit and ponder, hating you for what you have done is not going to help either of us.
Most of all, hating you is not the Christian thing to do. Ephesians 4:26 says:
Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath.
As a Christian, I am commanded to love you. I am trying to understand why you would feel the need to take what does not belong to you-- to understand your heart and mind. To step outside of my own privilege and maybe understand what desperation can do to someone. What level of desperation were you at that you had to break into an apartment and steal from people you didn't know, who didn't do anything to you?
I have struggled with not being angry and not hating you-- part of me wants to beat you with a bag of oranges and shake you down for the almost $300 you are costing me. The other part, the larger part, just feels forgiveness and mercy. I am sorry for the rage I have felt towards you and the hate I harbored in my heart that day.
One thing you did not steal from me that day was my faith and have actually strengthened it in my trying to come to terms with the situation and you. I can only hope that things will turn around for you and you won't feel the need to steal.
In short: I will pray for you because there is nothing else I can do.
Forgiveness is not a sign of weakness, in fact it is quite the opposite.
I don't forgive people because I'm weak
I forgive them because I am strong enough
to understand that people make mistakes.
It is my sincere hope that both of us evolve from this situation. I hope you find fulfillment in this world not with materials but with yourself and your soul. Only then will you be at peace.
