To my past:
I know things have changed for me a lot the last few years. Or maybe, all of my years. But looking back on you has become such a habit, I didn't realize when I started living on Memory Lane instead of just walking down it. I know we all go through these times where we're nostalgic, heartbroken, wishing we could change something, fondly reminiscing and whatever else we may do concerning the past. But I just can't live there anymore.
My past, I'm sorry for what you're going through. Trust me, I know how sorry to be because I've been there. Family can be rough, going through changes, arguments, and growing up. Hissy fits and secrets don't bring anyone closer, but these small things didn't add up so fast back then. Now I know to appreciate what I've achieved and who's beside me through it all. Of course, family can get on your nerves, but patience and time are for sure well deserving things that I practice now, thanks to you. Besides family drama, of course, people pass on and leave. As sad as it is for someone to go wherever it is we go after this, if anywhere, visiting you will make me smile and think of the good old days before the move or before I lost them.
Old friends taught many lessons as well. Who to trust, who to talk to, who I can most relate to, who's the frenemie, and who betrays me. Things change in every aspect of life, and living on Memory Lane with all these old family members and friends made me realize it's time to pack up and move on. Now I'm meeting all these fantastic people who never give me a bad feeling in my stomach, and I couldn't ask for anything more. Sure, the old friends will stay in my memories with you, in my past, but they won't bog me down with the things that could have been. Friends teach lessons when you go through life with them, and you learn as much about them as you do about yourself. When things are tough, you notice who stands by you and who leaves, as well as how you handle yourself in the situation. Looking into the past, I'm glad to see how much I have grown in the last few years especially. So many fun outings, photographs, memories, and concert tee shirts we all have hidden away in the backs of our closets remind us of the fun times, and of who we were then.
In my past, I was a person who was afraid to do things alone, to be myself, to do all the things I love with all the energy I can give them. I felt afraid of my own opinions, never wanting to speak up. Learning from my past rather than living in it has pushed me beyond what I thought were the boundary lines in my life and has me soaring higher than ever. I have to thank you for being there to look back at, see where I was, who I was, and what I was doing to learn from it. Thank you for teaching me all of your lessons about boys, what it feels like to be heartbroken, to love, and for all the family and friend lessons I am still learning today. Life is a journey, and I'm ready for the rest of it. After all, tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my life.
So, my past, I can't live in you anymore. I can't afford to miss out on what life has to offer me in the present moment with all of these people and places that I have in it right now. Sure, that will continuously change, but I've come to terms with that and I'm fine with it. And now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to finish packing up and moving out of Memory Lane, because my place there is not large enough for me anymore.
Sincerely,
My future awaits
