A mom is a powerful creature, particularly in the eyes of a daughter. She makes you feel safe, she is always willing to give advice, and she teaches you how to become a woman. She is the one who gives you anxiety when you see a missed call, and the one you can go to when times are tough. Well, if you're lucky.
Not all children are born into a traditional family with a mom and dad that are always around. Life is complicated and marriages can be messy. Little girls can end up feeling like something is missing when you're young you don't understand divorce or how adults think. You do understand though that the other kids in your class have always had both parents around, and for some reason you don't. Your home is loving and safe, but it can feel incomplete.
For those who are lucky enough, though, someone amazing steps in.
Dear "Step" mom,
I know our relationship has been messy. I know it has never been perfect, or drama free. Some days it felt like we would never get along. It didn't feel fair for either of us at times. Yet I wouldn't change one bit of it, because the uphill battle we went through taught me what a mother is. Without it I would never have come to understand just how wonderful you are.
Most little girls dream of growing up, meeting someone, getting married, having kids, the end. It's simple and perhaps easier than the way we started our family. You weren't phased by that though, and just that amazes me. You didn't just marry a man, you took on a family. You took on a little girl as your daughter when you had no obligation to do so. That's the first thing you taught me — a great mother is selfless.
As a kid, I was not like you. I was a tomboy, I didn't take proper care of my clothes, and I was overly sensitive most of the time. It was like a minefield, but you navigated it many times over. I was far from a perfect child, and while you weren't perfect you were always amazing. That's the second thing you taught me — a great mother never gives up.
My teenage years were quite frankly a nightmare for both of us, as they all for all girls and their mothers. That was when you explained to me what mattered in life. You showed me what a real friend looks like, how to let go of the little things, and to never give up on a dream. You taught me that there should always be a plan and goal, that I should have realistic expectations, and that life wasn't going to hand me anything. These were hard lessons to learn, but I'm glad you were there to teach me. You taught me then the most valuable thing about, not just mothers, but about love — you have to be willing to put the needs of those you love before your desire to get along all the time.
I don't refer to you as my "step" mom in conversations anymore. You are the woman who taught me selflessness, perseverance, and what love looks like. You are my mom, and you are one of the best women I have ever had in my life. Thank you for everything.
With Love,
Your Daughter
